2.5.09

Episode Zero: Ground Zero (Part II)

The Mahabla(h)rata of Sri Vyasa Bla(h)gavan:

A Hair-raising Silly Pretentious Tale of an Epic Scale

as Retold by Bla(h)gavan Sri Sathya Say Bla(h)bla(h)

Episode Zero: Ground Zero (Part II)



Duryodhana has high hopes that Vidura would be able to convince Yudhisthira to come over for a high-stakes gambling contest. There is, however, a big problem he has to face first. He has to convince Vidura himself, and take him to their side, the evil camp. And Vidura is the incarnation of wisdom! There is not much of a chance, really. But Vidura is their only chance, no other person stands half a chance. It’s a chancy, chancy, chancy world!

Duryodhana could of course somehow convince his father, Dhritharashtra, the visually-challenged king of Hastinapura, by threatening to commit suicide or something. Normally the king doesn’t take any decisions without the approval of Vidura, his half-brother and most-trusted prime minister, but an exception could be made this time. And if the king were to command Vidura, Vidura would have to obey and go to Indraprastha. Duryodhana explains his tentative strategy to Shakuni. But Shakuni is of course not happy at all with the idea. If Vidura was compelled to go reluctantly, how could he be expected to perform an excellent job in beguiling Yudhisthira? It would only be a half-hearted effort and therefore wouldn’t work, since even if it were whole-hearted there is really very little chance for it work. So Vidura has to be offered some kind of incentive for acting out the crucial role expected of him, out of his own motive. How is that possible?

Vidura and the others among the Kaurava elders came to know of Shakuni’s evil intentions on Pandavas, when in one top-level meeting recently Shakuni himself unable to curb his enthusiasm started openly bragging about his high level of skill at the dice game, contrasting it with Yudhisthira’s lack of any skill whatsoever. But no one around, except perhaps for Bhishma, the eldest of them all, was so stupid to believe that the dice game involved any kind of skill in any way. Therefore everyone came to realize that Shakuni learnt a few cheating tricks, and is now keen to rip off the Pandavas, if only that were possible. And when Vidura was asked to carry out this extremely silly and risky business of inviting a wise and virtuous king for a bout of dicing and gambling, he immediately saw through the whole plan of the Shakuni-Duryodhana party. He refused straightaway and warned Duryodhana that playing such tricks on the Pandavas, if at all they succeed, could eventually lead to a full-scale war between the Kauravas and the Pandavas, one that would wreak total havoc on both sides and cause total destruction of the Kauravas especially. Vidura sternly advised them to at once drop all devious thoughts of playing mischief on the Pandavas, for the consequences of such foolishness could be dire in the extreme.

Now Shakuni is in deep thought. Although it is true that he has just as much skill at playing the dice game as anyone else, his advantage not arising out of any skill but out of psychic powers, he is indeed considerably skilled at playing chess and thinking out chess-like strategies. So he is thinking and thinking. And finally he hits upon the idea, which is: to come out clean with Vidura, confess to him all their short term and long-term plans, but also make him aware of what could be in it for himself.

This is their only chance. Accordingly, one day not too long after receiving that serious reprimanding from Vidura, Shakuni seeks a one-on-one with Vidura and enters into Vidura's private quarters. Bearing an expression of utmost sincerity, Shakuni admits he has the capacity only to skillfully cheat at the dice game, not skillfully play it, but if he gets a chance to exercise his con art with Yudhisthira he intends or hopes to go all out and deprive the Pandavas not only of all their wealth, but their kingdom itself. He also acknowledges that he fully well realizes the eventuality, that even if Pandavas would lie low for sometime, something or other would go awry sooner or later and the situation could blow up into a full-scale war. Pandavas may not have even an army but Arjuna by himself alone is capable of taking on the whole Kaurava team and their entire army singlehandedly if he so desired. (In those days, there were all kinds of super weapons, and Arjuna’s armory was especially full of them).

Vidura is simply aghast. He has never seen this candid side of Shakuni, all the more dark and evil for being so. Shakuni pauses for a long while. And drops the bomb slowly.

“O noble Vidura, you may be wondering why I am sharing my mind with you, all so openly. Yes, I have nothing to hide now, for once in my life. And in the spirit of openness and frankness, I want to make you a very interesting proposal. I beg you to listen to me with as open a mind as possible, consider the whole thing carefully and seriously and only then arrive at a decision. Of course you are free to take whatever decision you want, but I trust in your wisdom, and am positive that you will make the wise choice which will benefit us all.”

Vidura nodded, “Go ahead, I am listening.”

“Okay, my dear brother-in-law, it is like this. Once again I request you to listen to it attentively, and to give your answer only after due consideration. As we all know, you are renowned for your wisdom; not many people know, but I do, that you are seriously working on a whole book of moral platitudes and wise-sounding aphorisms. Do kindly forgive me for breaching your privacy and conducting spying on you, but I have a good idea about the book you are working on. It is entitled “Vidura Neeti,” and you are planning to make it a dialogue between you and our blind king Dhritharashtra. I’ve even had the privilege to take a sneak preview of it, albeit unbeknownst to you.

“O king, man's body is just like a chariot (Ratha), intelligence (Buddhi) like a charioteer (Saarthi) and senses are its horses. One, who controls all these three travels happily in this world, just like the charioteer who has controlled the horses of the chariot.

“Just like the untrained and uncontrollable horses overthrow the charioteer on the path, similarly the senses if uncontrollable have the capacity to kill a man.

“One should try to understand his real self by controlling Mana (mind), Buddhi (intelligence), Indriya (senses) because the soul only is one's friend and enemy.


“And so on. There is of course some need of editing, but they are quite good I must say. I am impressed! There seems to be some quality stuff here. But do you think if you publish it as a book, anybody would bother to read it? Who has any time for such tripe except for old fogeys, your Dhritharashtra-like guys, and I sincerely hope that you don’t want to seriously limit your potential audience to some dilapidated section of the population. This is where you need to come up with creative ideas. And this where we come in, I and Duryodhana.”

Shakuni pauses, waiting for Vidura to say something. Vidura is in too much of a shock already to say anything, he simply says, “Okay.” Not even, “Okay, proceed.”

Shakuni resumes. “Look, just between you and me, I know you must have become tired of playing the low-profile lackey to Dhritharashtra all your life, though both of you were born of the same father. Such is fate, never fair, never equitable. But whether you realize it or not, in this little book that you are working on is your door to fame and instant celebrity. You just have to know how to position it in the market. We could help you there. We can help you project the book in such a way into the public light that it would become an instant hit with the masses. The idea is very simple, and just as elegant. You can spend a few more years to work on this book. Now, Pandava-Kaurava war is inevitable sooner or later. Both sides may delude themselves but both sides are just waiting for a chance to pounce upon each other. Things are in a balance right now, but it is a very delicate balance, believing in its stability would be sheer folly and vain hope. So whether you want it or not, whether you are involved in it or not, one way or other, the fatal confrontation is bound to occur one of these years. It may be next year, it may be ten years from now, twenty years from now, but no one is really planning to die anywhere except in the battlefield, from the soldiers of the infantry to the commanders of the army to the elders themselves, except perhaps for you. You are the only true pacifist around, which is fine but of no use really. All your efforts to stop the confrontation will come to nothing, now or in the future, that much I can assure you, and that much you know very well yourself. So my point is this. When you cannot stop it from happening anyway, why don’t you join in the cause to help the war happen, just the way I am. The only difference between you and me is this, I have nothing to gain from it all, except for a little childish satisfaction for having avenged myself, whereas you have so much to gain, a whole new image, a whole new career, fame, renown, celebrity of totally a different level than you have ever known. You can become the guru to millions, and not just rot forever in your advisorial capacity to a blind king who also happens to be rather deaf and dumb. If only your wisdom, whether real or apparent, can be properly channelized into the consciousness of the nation, people would revere you, they would adore you and worship you, you can even become a living god, unless you too were to die in the battle. But if you can just somehow manage to survive the war, and there are many ways to do so, there is simply no telling where your fame and glory would stop, if ever they do!

"You just have to pull off this mission and succeed in convincing Yudhisthira to pay a visit to Hastinapura for some ripping fun and entertainment. In turn, what we can do for you is to place you as a charioteer for Duryodhana in the coming battle, whenever it comes. By that time you just be ready and get all your verses by heart. The key part of the plan is this. Right after the battle officially commences on the first day of the battle, on the very verge of the mammoth clash, Duryodhana falls flat in his chariot, and loudly proclaims that he cannot really do this battle, that he realizes the evil of his ways, how it will end up in destroying all his kith and kin, friends and foes alike, that there is no point in this suicidal war. And the battle is put on hold momentarily because all the people of both sides are wondering what the heck is happening with Duryodhana, what has come over him all of a sudden. Should he be sent home and the battle be continued?

"And I can assure you with all the years of experience I have in this business, nobody would ever suspect you guys of being involved in any sham or scam, not now, not in a hundred years, not in a thousand years. People simply don’t have that kind of intelligence. Have no worries on that account. So as Duryodhana falls down into sudden despondency, he turns to you imploring you to provide succor to him, to show him some light in this darkest hour of his life. He would say something like “Oh half-father, help me overcome my half-heartedness, dispel my half-confusion, let me regain at least half the courage I used to have.” This is the point you take over, the stage lights shift the focus on you. You would at first say something like “O Suyodhana, O Chandashasana, rise up, this faint-heartedness doesn’t behoove one like thee. Kill you foes, destroy your enemies, annihilate them utterly, don’t see who is who and who is not, this is not the hour to exercise such refined discrimination. Have no doubts, just become a killing machine, this is your destiny. Be eager to meet it, just destroy!” Just a tentative script, we will give you the finalized version sometime later. We will of course give you only the script for the first segment of what is going to be a very very very long battlefield sermon. Essentially, you would have to recite your entire book thereafter, chapter by chapter, so make sure beforehand that you have arranged the whole material into neat chapters. If you forget any verses, or mix them up, it might cause a little unnecessary problem. Also better to have a copy of your work with you, just in case you forget some lines here and there. It would also be useful if you can make a little script for Duryodhana who would pop in now and then, especially at the beginning of the chapters, and ask you questions regarding all those various wisdom topics you have. He would also keep saying from time to time, “my mind is confused,” “my mind is confused,” because that way really it would give a feeling of depth, and the audience can more easily identify the Duryodhana character. And of course you can talk about all you want, senses, buddhi, mind, intellect, soul, God, sex, anger, work, money, heat, cold, absolutely everything and anything. Also remember to change the title from Vidura Neeti, to Vidura Gita! As you can see, I have planned it out to the minutest detail. If you are interested, we can discuss about further issues some other time.”

All this while, Vidura didn’t know for sure whether he was dreaming all this conversation, or it was really happening. He now gives himself several quick pinches all over his arms and thighs, which behavior slightly puzzles Shakuni. After ascertaining that he is indeed awake and part of what people generally consider reality, Vidura is quick to reply, “This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard or I could ever imagine, a sermon on the battlefield, after the battle has commenced, and not just a single sermon but downloading a whole book at one spot in one single session! My God, my God! Shakuni, you have finally lost it. I always knew this would be the fate of all evil minds like you who spend most of their waking hours plotting and scheming and nothing else. You have just gone bonkers, man! However did you think that I would buy into such a ridiculous plan, if a plan it is? Do you think I am so desperate to bask in some limelight? You really don't know anything about me, despite all your spy network. Thanks but not thanks, for wasting all my time this morning. Now with my permission you may please leave.”

Now it is Shakuni’s turn to be shocked, he was not expecting such an outright refusal, and such direct humiliation of his intelligence. He wanted to urge Vidura to think over it, think again, but he gave up. Better leave smug wise asses like Vidura to themselves. Indeed he was wasting everyone’s time. So, without saying a word further, he rises up, ready to leave. He walks a few steps, when he hears Vidura’s voice again.

“Wait a minute, you were not serious at all, right? This is your idea of a joke, right? Ah, I get it now! How funny!”

Shakuni turns around, and bearing the most sincere expression he can possibly bear, solemnly affirms the genuineness of his declared intentions. “I am serious, as serious as anyone can possibly get. I am serious!”

“What are you talking about? Did you really mean it, all this nonsense about sermonizing in the battlefield? Oh, gimme a break!”

“Vidura, it is not nonsense, and I really mean it. It could make perfect sense to you too once you start looking at it from the view of publicity. This would create a sensation, a hullabaloo. This is the only way you can ever hope to reach the masses. All I want, all I intend is to give you a break. This is going to be your breakthrough! Otherwise you can keep writing you neeti shastras and dharma shastras, no one would read them, no one would ever know they even existed. Now the decision is yours.”

“Just let me ask you for one last time, do you really mean it, this is all not one big stupid joke, right?”

Shakuni does not reply but keeps staring at him, with that unchanging, unflinching, deep and sincere expression.

Vidura finally relents. “Okay, we have a deal, I will go to Indraprastha tomorrow itself.”

Shakuni gives the hint of a smile, and walks out.

24.4.09

Episode Zero: Ground Zero (Part I)

The Mahabla(h)rata of Sri Vyasa Bla(h)gavan:

A Hair-raising Silly Pretentious Tale of an Epic Scale

as Retold by Bla(h)gavan Sri Sathya Say Bla(h)bla(h)

Episode Zero: Ground Zero (Part I)



Hastinapura was the glorious capital city of the vast Kuru Kingdom which altogether from boundary to boundary occupied an area the size of a modern metropolitan city with its suburbia. People were proud and had no shame whatsoever in those days, they used to refer to this small district which even didn’t have an independent name as the Hastinapur Empire, or Hastinapur Samrajya. Mahabla(h)arata, as we all know, is the epic story of the mammoth dynastic struggle between two sets of brothers, mutual cousins, for the throne of Hastinapura. This family conflict somehow ended up in one of the greatest wars that ever took place, involving a few millions of soldiers and warriors, and wreaking untold havoc on the entire country in those ancient times.

The seeds of this colossal wanton destruction were sown in the events that are going to be narrated now. It all began in much happier times. The vast empire was divided between the Kaurava brothers and Pandava brothers and all of them lived in peace and prosperity for a good while. But in those days there was no television and people simply got bored to death, there was just no drama going on. The tedium of everyday life must have seemed deathly to the people of the ruling elite. There seemed to be no point in living, it was war that gave meaning and purpose to life! Herein lay the true seeds of destruction: the simple fact that TV wasn’t invented yet! Something had to be done, but the whole political and social situation was more or less at equilibrium, and no one had any clue how to proceed. Is the Mahabla(h)arata story over before it could even begin properly? That would have been a total disaster, a place like ancient India deprived of its epics is like a modern middle class home deprived of its satellite television. There is an eerie absence of the raucous noise and the calm is chillingly funereal.

The noble Duryodhana, the big brother of the Kauravas, takes it upon himself to spare the kingdom and even the country from such an ignoble fate, where the brave Kshatriya class would have gone on simply rotting. The proverbial flapping of the butterfly wings which would soon unleash a tornado comes just then in the form of his beloved Uncle Shakuni casting a pair of dice on the table in front of him. Shakuni shows Duryodhana his magic trick. Through years of practice, Shakuni has finally perfected the psychokinetic ability to throw dice and get the exact outcome as he desired. Had there been television around, he could have used this skill to become popular worldwide by giving Uri Geller –like shows. Again, as we can see, the absence of TV is the root of all evil! If only TV had been there, Shakuni would have expressed his talent in a more harmless way, without the compulsion to resort to the evil plotting that eventually brought about everyone’s destruction.

So there is no way for him to become instantly famous , though that is what Shakuni would have liked. Neither is there a way to make a quick buck using this trick. Because in those days there was no America, and neither its Sin City. Imagine Shakuni roaming among Las Vegas casinos, it would have been a festival of howling, marauding wolf-packs in the full moon night! As of now, though, it is total darkness, Shakuni is just a poor limping dog in the company of another mangy dog. Both of them don’t know where they are, how to go about. Because both of them, Duryodhana and Shakuni, have grand plans and all they have to go about it is this measly little trick. Okay you can get whatever number you want, so what?

There were only three indoor board games available in those days, one was a rudimentary form of chess, and another was the dice game, a primitive type of ludo, and the last one was also a dice game, Vaikunta Pali, or Indian version of snakes and ladders. Kings and such used to play chess, and even if they used to gamble, they would have employed betting on the outcomes of a chess game or kills made during a hunting expedition and so on. It is impossible to conceive kings and such playing ludo, and a very lackluster version of it at that. Kings used to avoid snakes and ladders, probably because the snake swallowing part could stir up really traumatic memories of some great losses they would have endured in the past or bring about some haunting premonitions of great misfortunes that may befall them. Snakes and ladders was simply too close to the life of the royalty in those days, so they would have naturally avoided it, too much of a rollercoaster in their already rollercoaster lives.

Elementary school children, particularly girls up to the age of 12 or 14 used to play the ludo game or snakes and ladders with sea shells or tamarind seeds, because girls were discouraged from playing ghilli-danda or marbles with boys outdoors; and then they were usually married off at the age 14 to 16. Boys above the age of 8 would have naturally found these dice games of yore incredibly boring. The rest of the people in various age groups and both the sexes had to slog off like pigs and dogs day and night in those preindustrial times just to produce enough to run a household and to help their rulers live in luxurious depravity.

The ruling class didn’t just constitute merely a small aristocratic elite, but an entire caste of the total five castes, Brahmins (learned ones), Kshatriyas (warriors), Vaishyas (business men), Shudras (proletariat), and the untouchables (menial labor). The first two classes, probably making up nearly half the population, didn’t produce anything, but lived off on the work of the others. The first category was constantly occupied with performing a never-ending barrage of meaningless rituals. The second category is the total focus of our story here. This class had only one skill basically, that of constantly waging wars and killing each other. These wars were not ambitious conquests, Alexander or Napoleon type, not in the least; they were more or less akin to the ritual traditions of the Brahmins, just meaningless routine ritualistic things mainly engaged in to while away the time. Nothing meaningful is achieved. Or we can compare these wars to games. Again if TV had been there, all the country would have watched one small kingdom fighting another small kingdom, broadcast live from the battlefield, without the need for everyone of them to indulge in wars of their own a good deal of the time. War, of course, was the cause of so much misery, but if only TV had been around…

In those primitive ages, the act of ruling mainly consisted of protecting the borders and guarding the people from becoming total slaves although they may already be half slaves to their rulers as it is. (The feudal system and the landlord class was a much later development.) During the intervals when there were no wars, the warrior class of people could have experienced a severe loss of self-respect, but they would never consider ever doing a useful thing, produce or create, because that would have been even more debasing. Both production and trade were looked down upon. Among the warrior class, there was really no clear concept about production and creation of wealth, somehow some production did take place otherwise the society couldn’t have survived, but people thought mainly in terms of snatching away things from others who have it. There was absolutely no concept of creativity, it didn’t even occur to people that people can get ideas, many things can be created and produced, and everyone can be well off, without all this need for constant grabbing and snatching, killing and maiming. We have to try to understand the Mahabla(h)rata in this cultural context.

During the ample leisure time at their disposal in doldrums period between wars, these people of the ruling class would go on hunting expeditions, or be entertained by watching fighting sports or dance shows, or indulge in lechery, just biding their time for the next war. But no matter how bored they could have been, we cannot imagine any of these royal warriors to be indulging in silly girly dice games, that’s the point. Miraculously, however, there was one person of this vaunted warrior class who was more like a sage than a warrior, he had no ego, no ego problems, in total contrast to the general Kshatriya class who had egos falling all over the place and constantly colliding with each other. He is one of the key characters of our epic, the eldest of the Pandava brothers, Yudhisthira. And he was just obsessed with this ludo game.

Sometimes, albeit very rarely, people are born with a pathological condition wherein they can feel no fear. A specific part of the brain that normally senses the emotion of fear becomes dysfunctional, and so they go fearless everywhere, constantly posing grave danger to their very survival. Fear is a very essential warning system alerting us to possible dangers. Similarly, Yudhisthira is a pathological case of lack of ego and self-respect, although he seems to have matured into it gradually rather than born with it all ready-made. In Hindu spirituality, ego is the biggest culprit, the source of all untruth and unrighteousness. Therefore egolessness is the source of all virtue. Naturally, Yudhisthira is regarded very highly by everyone, and is known as Dharma Raja, the king of virtue.

It may be noted that children below four years also generally don’t show much of an ego, and there do exist many unfortunate mentally challenged people who are stuck at the age of 4-5 years. These mental retards are called idiots; no pejorative sense implied, it is just a technical meaning. (In Indian villages, even today or at least until more recent times, all kinds of retards used to be worshiped as saints and sadhgurus! It was common to address them as Bhole Baba, The Innocent Baba, but interestingly this adjective ‘Bhole’ is sometimes used to address Shiva himself as in Bholenath or Bholeshankar). So, Yudhisthira was such an innocent one, a horrible and hopeless idiot, but instead of being restricted to a mental asylum where he could have gone playing ludo or snakes and ladders with himself day and night, he is the head of a whole kingdom, and the hero of an epic! He has really an inexplicable fascination with dice game; for his level of intelligence though it is understandable, we cannot imagine him playing a little more sophisticated game like chess, and the idea of much simpler Chinese checkers played with chess pieces was yet to be imported from China. In other words, the dice game provided the exact amount of intellectual stimulation he needed (which is just around what we experience when watching a daily soap on the Indian TV). I don’t think soap, not TV soap but bathing soap, was invented by that time though, or else Yudhisthira would also have had incredible fun blowing soap bubbles into the air all the time. It could have literally driven him crazy! Moreover, playing soap bubbles is an out and out spiritual game, there is just nothing like it in inspiring wisdom!

Absence of TV and soap, these two things, is the reason for much of the vast amount of filth that floated around in those ancient days. In our own times, we may be suffering from severe pollution of air and water, but believe it or not we live in far milder and benign times than those barbaric ages at the dawn of civilization all the world over. Men were merely dirty brutes in those days because, among other things, they had no soap and no TV. Soap washes the body, and TV washes the brain. And if you have not ever played at blowing soap bubbles, please try it! It is simply amazing, it cleanses your very spirit! You can find the whole philosophy of Bla(h)gavad Gita in those gorgeous delicate soap bubbles! It is a prayer, it is a worship!

But in the absence of the technology of making soap bubbles, Yudhisthira sought spiritual succor in the dice game. We must understand that it is an intensely spiritual thing! It has even another dimension too, but we will come to it a bit later. Dice game is an addiction for Yudhisthira, true, but a positive one – in no sense can we consider it a vice! How ridiculous to think of vice in the context of the king of virtue himself! Dharma Raja is simply not interested in women, wine, killing animals and all such usual abominations. He does play the dice game, that can’t be denied, but it must be noted that, contrary to what everyone without exception believes, Yudhisthira is not in the least interested in gambling. As we shall see, he hardly knows the meaning of gambling. Remember he is the egoless person, he has no concept of separation of I and Thou, mine and thine; he has no notion of winning or losing. Total Bhole Baba character! To project the kind of insatiable greed and malice that inevitably goes with gambling unto this noble soul is simply ridiculous!

Being the king of a kingdom, he has all this free time at hand, he simply has nothing to do with it except go on playing this primitive ludo with himself. Let me repeat, this fascination with dice game has simply nothing to with gambling, it is simply the childlike wonder and delight at throwing the dice and every time seeing a different and random outcome, and based on that outcome moving the board piece ahead step by step until it reaches the goal. It would have really given a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment to such a noble and innocent soul to feel that even he, being as acutely retarded as he is, is able to move things and progress towards goals steadily. But the crux of the matter here is that the whole thing happens by itself, there is absolutely no need of skill or strategy, no need of thinking, planning or putting any kind of mental effort, or exertion of will power. There is again the whole essence of Bla(h)gavad Gita at play here. This is the heart of the Sri Krishna’s message to Arjuna: “Don’t think, don’t worry needlessly, surrender your will to the will of the divine, and simply do your duty. Do not hanker for results, because you will only fritter away your energies by doing so. The outcome of your actions is not in your hands. Things will simply happen by themselves according to the laws of nature (i.e., rules of probability and rules of the game). You need not take the credit for winning, you need not take the blame for losing. Be even minded in both victory and defeat.” Is it possible to imagine that any activity, not just in the games and sports category but just any activity in general, where the whole essence of Gita is reflected so brilliantly? Is there any better ground to practice surrender, non-attachment and equanimity than the dice game board?

There is another very central concept in Gita, and that is concept of Yagna or sacrifice. Krishna repeats this word, sacrifice, many many times in that holy scripture. Due to the immense popularity of the phrase “Gita Yagna,” the long series of discourses conducted by swamijis on the Gita, the word Yagna has become deeply associated with the Gita. And what better sacrifice can be imagined than the sacrifice of time! Simply sitting there, playing the dice game the whole afternoon or the whole day, you offer your precious time to the Lord! Remember you get nothing out of it, that is the true sacrifice. Some one up there could be really pleased!

For all these deeply spiritual reasons, such a thing like this dice game can have a totally irresistible appeal to a retard like Yudhisthira. He would have enjoyed playing it much. However, there was a big problem. We can imagine how desperate Yudhisthira would have been to find a partner to play; after all, minimum two people are necessary to play a board game. Playing with oneself may be more spiritual, but alas less fun. As human beings, we seek a little bit of fun too, there is nothing wrong in it. Yudhisthira too must have harbored a deep craving to find someone to play with, but who would have stooped so low to this awfully stupid game? It was only a game for saints, and fellow retards. I would imagine Krishna would have enjoyed playing dice game with Yudhisthira at times when he would visit them, but he too had other more important games to play. Yudhisthira may have been an idiot, purely in a technical sense again, but if people like Krishna or Arjuna (Yudhisthira’s younger brother) had any better sense, they would have at least appointed a full-time dice game specialist to take care of this problem, to play the dice game with Yudhisthira all through the day, thereby averting an epoch-destroying war!

Meanwhile back in Hastinapura, Uncle Shakuni is in a bad predicament. He is feeling all powerful, but has no one against whom he can use the power, no situation to demonstrate it. Shakuni is aware of Yudhisthira’s weakness, and precisely to exploit this he has practiced for years and developed his uncanny psychokinetic ability. However, he has no big hopes, no hope whatsoever really, no idea on how to proceed further. He could of course invite Yudhisthira for a little gambling session, but why would the king of virtue be willing to gamble? Even if he did allow himself to indulge in this vice, let’s just assume, he would still lose a few things and realize that luck is not on his side, and would quit the game. Yudhisthira may be a total retard, but not that total retard to go on continuously playing a losing game! However, Shakuni would succeed in his diabolical ambition only and only if Yudhisthira adopted such a totally improbable course of action. It is the only weapon the Kauravas now have against the Pandavas. But to expect a situation where they would be able to wield this weapon effectively is to ask for the impossible. It has just as much chance of succeeding as an assassination attempt against the President of the United States by a six-year-old kid armed with a kitchen knife! That is to say, it is nothing but a ridiculous joke!

However, the whole life of Shakuni would go in vain if he is not able to do something far-fetching with the only trick he has up his sleeve, although the means available and the end desired are totally incommensurate. What Shakuni desires is the total destruction of Pandavas. (In reality, he only wants the total destruction of Kauravas, but that is a big secret for now!) There is really no hope, not even the remotest chance of success for Shakuni. So he really has nothing much to do with his newly acquired power, except perhaps amuse guests showing it off. Even if he couldn't fulfill the mission of his life, utilizing his power in some way or other would have made him happy. He has simply put a lot of effort and practice in it to let it go just wasted. Had TV been around, he could have become an overnight international celebrity as we noted earlier, but that is not to be! In a strictly logical sense, the only valid course of action open to Shakuni is to practice to extend his paranomal powers; for example, he could learn to stop the heart of a guy in front of him just by intending it! So long as he didn’t try out his skill first on Duryodhana! For now, though, he is both testing and showing his little skill to his favorite nephew.

He asks Duryodhana to say a number, Duryodhana causally blurts out 2. And lo and behold, the dice are cast and one and one appear. Duryodhana is dumbstruck! What magic is this! Duryodhana is a very interesting character in himself. This guy is the polar opposite to Yudhisthira, he is the epitome of ego and self-respect. He can’t tolerate the idea of the other person winning. But please note, the foregoing observations do not mean that he is all mature and grownup just because he is the polar opposite to Yudhisthira. On the contrary! Many of you may have seen very young children at a particular age bracket just crossing that egoless, mindless stage of Yudhisthira, wherein they keep grabbing anything and everything they see and keep on asserting, ‘this is mine,’ or demanding ‘I want this, I want that’. These tots just revel in saying ‘I’ and ‘mine’. Ego, the I, can only exist on the basis of accumulation of possessions, the mine. So invariably these kids appear to be greedy and covetous. Also, they’d constantly require everyone’s attention around them, and then they’d also get hurt and insulted very easily. They would also feel like they are the real head of the family, that mom and dad and brother and sister are only there only to take good care of them! This kind of a thing happens almost universally with all of us, only the intensity differs.

If you have ever played cards or UNO with children around 10-12 years, for example, you must have noticed, sometimes they can be terribly terribly upset for losing a simple game, or for coming last in score at the end of a round. It may seem very abnormal to us, but what is happening is that the ego is forming, and becomes the central focus of the mind. It is somewhat akin to what happens when you take a full meal, the body’s energies get concentrated in digesting the freshly ingested food, blood is drawn away from the brain to the stomach and you may feel drowsy. There is nothing too worrisome about such things, they are natural processes. The phase of ego-formation is a healthy and necessary one as long it doesn’t last too long and one gets over it in good measure. It is very important that a solid ego forms, for the survival of a child. Ego is an essential protective armor for the personality. Of course, most of us normally are obsessed with ourselves and our possessions; in a spiritual context, such tendencies are wholly undesirable but in the general mode of things there is nothing particularly unhealthy or abnormal about it. We’d consider it human nature; however, in the type of retards such as Duryodhana, these ego tendencies get conspicuously accentuated and bordering on the pathological. In Mahabla(h)arata most of the characters have these massive inflated egos, but even by those standards, Duryodhana is deemed excessively egotistic, so we can estimate the level of pathology! Normally, most of us outgrow this ego-budding stage to some extent or another, trying to understand the reality and our place in it better. In people like Duryodhana, this outgrowing happens to a much less extent. It is just a difference of quantity rather than quality. Duryodhana is not really evil, he is simply stuck at a stage of growth, and is technically called a moron, no pejorative sense implied again.

Interestingly however, though ‘moron’ refers to a higher age bracket than ‘idiot’, in general parlance we normally consider a moron to be an intensified form of idiot! This is largely due to adventitious trends in language, still it has some significance. A moron really seems to be a bigger idiot though technically speaking he is slightly more mature than an idiot. At any rate, it would only seem a difference of quantity for us. But, rather strangely, it becomes a total difference of quality in Mahabla(h)rata. Just because Duryodhana is slightly more mature than Yudhisthira, he becomes the personification of evil, egotism and arrogance, whom everyone wants to either change, or get rid of, or even kill and do away with, while Yudhisthira at all times remains the most revered, one whom everyone wants to protect and no one dares to disobey!

So back to the scene, Duryodhana is here, trying to think of a special number this time which would make Shakuni fail, so he says 5, then says 3, then says no, no, it is 2 again, then takes it back and says 7, then goes to 8, then back to 4, and all this while Shakuni is patiently holding the dice and waiting for Duryodhana to make up his mind (Only numbers 2 to 8 were possible with those long dice). But Duryodhana is simply breaking down, falling apart, in his desperation to find that magical number which doesn’t exist. He is almost panicking, for he can’t allow himself to be defeated so easily, and he has no idea if there is a number which could be Shakuni’s weakness. While Duryodhana is thus balking at doing such a simple thing, seeing his total confusion, Shakuni’s lost hope is mildly restored. Shakuni realizes the fact that there is simply no telling how idiotic these people can be. If Duryodhana can be such a total fool, not able to do such a simple thing as saying out a simple single-digit random number, his counterpart over there – who knows about his true capabilities! The retards have a different type of logic, out of touch with reality, because they are badly stuck within themselves. It is not easy to predict how they would react in any particular situation. Still, Shakuni ponders: wholly aside from the fact that gambling is a sin and Yudhisthira is the towering pinnacle of virtue, why on Earth would he be interested in any kind of gambling contest? Yudhisthira has the least desire to possess other people’s things, he is not particularly possessive of his own things even to be motivated to play on to win back the things he may have lost! In fact, Shakuni then realizes Yudhisthira doesn’t even possess any thing that he can call exclusively his own! He is like the CEO of a multinational company who takes only one dollar as his salary! Why, how, what – would Yudhisthira gamble? For god’s sake, these Pandavas are the guys who officially share their wife in the spirit of liberty, fraternity and equality!

Shakuni realizes his whole idea of gambling with Yudhisthira and somehow snatching away all his possessions is dead from the beginning! It is not even a still-born child, it is just a shapeless lump of matter that just emerged, of no use whatever. At this point, the thought strikes Shakuni! All is not lost, the proof is standing right next to him! For this Duryodhana was born as a scary, shapeless lump of dead matter from his mother Gandhari’s womb! But those people did not just give up, throw the lump away and discard the whole idea of Gandhari ever bearing a child. Instead, the sage Vyasa was summoned who then cut up this mass into hundred tiny pieces and, incubated each piece in a jar of ghee for two years, and finally Duryodhana, along with his 99 siblings were born! Is it possible to imagine a greater tale of hope and inspiration than this! These are the kind of stories that make Mahabla(h)rata really great! Shakuni's hopes are kindled again. From a dead lump of matter, hundred royal children were born, from his dead lump of an idea too something could come out after all. Don't give up, keep trying! There is no Vyasa to do a miracle this time, but there is his son Vidura, the Wise One, always at the service of his nephew, King Duryodhana

A plot is duly hatched. According to the plan, Duryodhana decides to send Vidura, his paternal uncle, (Shakuni being on the maternal side), to Indraprastha, the new glorious capital/kingdom of Pandavas to invite Dharma Raja for a dice game. It is an impossible mission, a silly, ridiculous and desperate attempt. Heads of state don’t invite other heads of state to play board games, least of all a game which normally only ten-year-olds play, infrequently. Pandavas could laugh at them, the whole world could laugh at them. It would be humiliating, the one thing that Duryodhana cannot bear. Still, Duryodhana has no options, no other least opportunity to inflict damage on Pandavas. Now, all his hopes are pinned on Vidura, is there any possibility at all for him to pull this off?

Just like Yudhisthira is the embodiment of virtue, Vidura is the embodiment of wisdom. Wisdom invites Virtue for a gambling game. Things are really going to get sublime...

20.4.09

Introduction - Mahabla(h)rata

The Mahabla(h)rata of Sri Vyasa Bla(h)gavan:

A Hair-raising Silly Pretentious Tale of an Epic Scale

as Retold by Bla(h)gavan Sri Sathya Say Bla(h)bla(h)


(Statutory Notice: Say Bla(h)bla(h) says scriptures are historical fact, not stories.)

Introduction


Hi,

My name is Bla(h)gavan Sri Sathya Say Bla(h)bla(h), Truth is my middle name. I have an incredible news for you, nonetheless truth all of it. I am very excited to be breaking it finally after over two years of great effort carried out in secret to make it happen. I, along with a vast team of highly-qualified technicians who will largely remain behind the screen, am about to start a brand new TV channel, dedicated to a single reality show called, as you would have guessed, the Mahabla(h)rata. It is Reality TV, and beyond that, it is The Truth Television, TTTV, that is the name. The message of the Mahabla(h)rata is the message of Truth and Righteousness. The entire Mahabla(h)rata has one aim — to awaken the love of truth and right action in us. So you just have to do the right action, which is to keep watching our channel, episode after episode, and we will awaken the love of truth in you automatically!

In a short while I would be telling you how I could make all of this possible, extremely intriguing as it all may seem. But first let me share with you some very important truths about myself, about the Mahabla(h)rata, the Hindu philosophy and the Indian culture. We can of course go directly to the show and have plenty of fun right away, but discussing certain things first is relevant and necessary to set the proper context. Some of the things I am going to reveal to you now is rather heavy stuff, pretty grave and serious, even shocking maybe. However I have to do this for the love of truth, and to clarify to you the real meaning and scope of the Mahabla(h)rata, as well as to establish the credibility of The Truth Television, TTTV.

And so I begin my candid confessions. The name is Say Bla(h)bla(h), I am a Guru of great renown, my job and mission in life is to dupe people. Let me assure you though that in all the history of conmanship the world over you will not find a single individual who will so openly admit that he is into conning people. This country, India, is full of swamis, bla(h)bla(h)s, gurus, bla(h)gavans; still, unfortunately, none of them is as open I am, as transparent as I am, in duping the suckers. You have to realize how committed I am to truth, I live for truth, and if need be, I can die for it, and well, even kill for it. But of course I know that the Truth in me is immortal, so if I said I would die, it would be untrue in a way. As for killing, since no one dies anyway, the Bla(h)gavad Gita clearly points it out in this very context that millions of people can even be allowed to be massacred just to demonstrate the simple truth that the lives of people are completely worthless. We all have to live and die for truth, that is the only thing that makes our lives worthwhile.

Such high regard as I have for the truth I have imbibed from our holy scriptures. And not only that, these scriptures themselves have duped millions of people down the millennia, all in the name of truth and righteousness, sathya and dharma. Indeed therefore I am indebted to them for having taught me an entire philosophy of life and art of living, or rather the art of making a living, a very good living at that! Some of you may be wondering, what is this compulsion, why this obsession to dupe people, what do we gain by it? Again, followers of truth seldom live for themselves or do anything for their personal gain, whatever we do is for the benefit of people, and as you know even if we have to kill a few from time to time it is only to show them that there is a higher life. You see, most people are simply born to be lowly suckers, and the Bla(h)gavad Gita, the essential scripture of our country and culture, teaches us that the path of salvation lies in each individual fulfilling his nature, not transgressing or bypassing it; the most important thing is to fulfill one’s dharma, the essential quality that one is born with in this life. And you can imagine how difficult it would be for all these suckers to be sucked out if there were not conmen like me around taking up the heavy burden and leading them on the long path to salvation.

But all I say to my fellow professionals is: do it openly. There is nothing to hide. For instance, I am famous for magically bringing ashes, or a gold chain or a mini shiva-linga, out of my palms in front of the crowds — this is the trick that catapulted me into worldwide fame decades ago. But any ordinary magician can do such tricks, and much better than I do and that too without wearing any loose full-hand shirts amply covering the entire length of the arm. Plus of course they wouldn’t be wearing a huge, funny, negro hair-cut wig where it is possible to hide all the necessary equipment! Now, if only I wanted I too could have done all my little magic tricks without wearing any long sleeves or big wig, just like a normal magician, but that would be deceiving people, people might really think I am doing miracles or something. As it is, people are very gullible. Therefore in order to let them have the benefit of doubt, in the spirit of truth and right action, I had to adopt my characteristic outfit and makeup. This way my countless devotees are either fully or at least partially conscious that they are being fully or at least partially duped all or at least a good deal of the time. However, they are just fulfilling their dharma, and I am fulfilling my dharma, there is nothing I can take credit for, there is nothing they can take blame for.

Now let me share with you some of the deepest dharma rahasyas, dharma secrets as it were, in regard to our country and culture. This is the serious part, folks, so gear up! The greatest achievement of this land can be summed up by these two words Satya and Dharma, which actually mean the same thing. The word Dharma in its original sense simply means the intrinsic property of a certain thing. For example, water evaporates at 100⁰ centigrade, that is its dharma. It has of course many other properties, all the elements have their own unique properties, forces like electricity, magnetism, and gravity have their properties, subatomic particles like electrons and protons have their properties, time and space have some properties, matter in general has some properties and so on. This is purely a scientific thing. Now, in the Upanishadic times in Ancient India some sages stumbled upon the very fundamental truth of existence. They discovered that we human beings, in common with all other life forms, have a single most fundamental property that forms the very ground of our being. It is not a property of our body or of mind, but of our very being, it is the being itself. In other words, these mystics discovered that there is a being independent of our body and mind, transcending space and time, this is our innate and inmost existence, existing wholly independent of any outside factor. It has no form, it is non-localized and non-temporal, it simply is. But it is not some esoteric element hidden deep within and unknown to us. What it is, is simply our consciousness, The implication here is that, the consciousness we constantly experience and which we need to experience everything else in life is not generated in the body and mind as people might generally think, but on the contrary, body and mind and everything else are generated within consciousness. It is this consciousness, the simple everyday cognitive awareness that all of us possess, about which we can become vividly aware during our waking hours, this is that very consciousness which is the essential and eternal nature of our existence, our dharma. This consciousness itself is the ultimate truth, sathya, the substratum of existence, from which all things come and all things go. This is what the Upanishadic sages referred to as the Brahman, the Supreme Being. The consciousness within ourselves, within each individual being, they called the Atman, but the Atman is the same as the Brahman, since there is only one consciousness. Your consciousness is the ultimate reality, beyond which there is nothing whatsoever!

So, when we become capable of clearly perceiving this normal, regular consciousness, but in a state of total purity, divested of all the clutter of thoughts, desires, dreams and the ego which heavily cloud it usually, we would awaken fully. We would realize the totality of our own being, which is the ever-abiding universal Brahman. We are It, we have always been It. According to Hindu philosophy, to simply come to this realization, to know who we are, is the goal and the ultimate end of all human existence, what the sages called Moksha.

This discovery of the nature of consciousness is the singlemost important discovery in the history of consciousness and the history of humanity. It could have totally revolutionized the world in a way that is difficult to conceive. However there was a catch! If these sages came out with the truth of consciousness in plain simple words, somewhat in the manner I just did, anyone and everyone could have started seeking and meditating, vast numbers of people could have set out on the quest for truth and found it. These people would have realized their inner nature, the inner truth, without much difficulty. It is after all one’s own nature, ever-present, not really something to be achieved or attained. Enlightenment is just around the corner, what could be easier than spotting something that is always present within ourselves and readily available? And so, there is a high likelihood of people awakening and attaining moksha in herds and droves, not just one or two persons getting enlightened here and there every hundred years or so. All this may sound wonderful but the problem here is that there is no rebirth after attaining moksha. Millions of people getting enlightened would mean, among other things, that there could arise a severe shortage of living souls to populate the planet!

There is a further complication. When people get enlightened, they would naturally lose interest in sex, as well as in many other worldly pursuits. Because the attributes of the Atman or the Brahman are Satchitananda, Truth, Consciousness, Bliss; there is constantly so much ecstasy pouring down all by itself, it is our very nature, who would even bother about doing some tiresome gymnastics in the bed anymore for a little pleasure? In those days when there was extremely sparse population, the sages realized the immense danger their discovery of the ultimate truth could pose to the society. First of all, with so many souls being sent back to the moksha land, en masse, there would be a serious dearth of souls waiting to be born, and even for the souls transiting freshly from the animal stock to the human stage, there would be less and less scope for taking birth, due to the bizarre paucity of sexual activity within the human communities.

Though the truth may have been discovered in one country, it is bound to spread all around the world, because the truth belongs to no country or age. And when this happens, things could go really bleak and desolate on the Earth. Therefore the sages had to, per force, concoct a colossal conspiracy to suppress truth, which meant that the intelligence of the people had to be ruthlessly stifled, instead of being allowed to grow. It is clear that the truth could be vastly devastating to human societies and the masses of people, and so the wise ones of the time embarked on a large-scale campaign of deliberate obfuscation. They first subverted the meanings of the words Sathya and Dharma. From the profound spiritual meanings they had in relation to our deepest being, they turned into having merely petty, childish, moralistic significance in relation to superficial behavior. Sathya now just meant being honest and not uttering lies, and dharma meant acting rightly or righteously, basically not to cheat. In one stroke, the profoundest philosophy was rendered into juvenile bunk. Now the whole doctrine is reduced to this: don’t lie and don’t cheat, be a good guy, pray to God, and you will go to heaven or even attain moksha in this very life.

Moksha was still the goal, but of course its meaning had to be distorted too. Moksha is the last part of the four aspects of purushartha which formed the framework of the Hindu way of life: Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha (Virtue/ Right Action, Money / Wealth, Desire / Sex, and Enlightenment), but the general conception of it was corrupted. Moksha no longer had the tremendous scientific and philosophical connotation it has originally had, it came to be generally viewed in a devotional context, imagined as the soul in the form of a flame merging into the form of some deity. Not a particularly desirable prospect except perhaps for sentimental old women!

Next, this new bastardized version of truth had to be conveyed to the masses, but by default masses don’t have much intelligence to read any philosophy, they only seem to have intelligence to watch TV soaps, so these truths had to be put it in soap-like stories to rub off to the masses again and again till they are all properly brainwashed. The need of the hour was not education, but propaganda. To this end Ramayana and Mahabharata were created. Rama and Yudhisthira are the central characters of each of these epic soaps, the kingpins. Both of them are total imbeciles, but both of them are the supreme upholders of sathya and dharma, truth and virtue. These guys and various characters from the epics became the ideals and rolemodels, and the message that came through them is very simple: you can be as idiotic as you like, you can do absolutely any stupid thing you want, you can even throw your wife in the fire as Rama did or simply sell off your wife for the thrill of feeling like an utter stupid and nothing else as Yudhisthira did — but just abstain from lying or cheating in all circumstances! It all boiled down to that. Even so, people realized that life could be simply impossible without ever lying or cheating and therefore there could be exceptions made during exigent circumstances, like when you want to help your friend kill his own brother, as in Rama’s case, or like when you want to kill your only teacher, as in Yudhisthira’s case.

These two epics that significantly contributed in shaping the mind of this nation are barbaric war epics. The dumb characters in them simply never appear to do anything useful, constructive or creative; by and large they simply go on vowing revenge and killing each other and making a lot of noise in the process. Again, this is all part of a propaganda strategy to ensure that people’s minds do not become too sophisticated, too intelligent; to ensure that people don’t seek and find the deeper truths of existence, because then they would simply disappear from this world. When people die in the normal process of aging or as in a war, they would all be reborn sooner or later, and it is not a big deal, the wheel of samsara moves on. But if people become intelligent and get enlightened, they would simply disappear, and if this sort of thing happened too often, the wheel of samsara itself could stop. It takes slow evolution through countless aeons and thousands of unconscious lives as plants and animals to finally reach the level of a human being where consciousness becomes aware of itself. Now simply because some sages have discovered some truths, if all the souls that finally make it to the human stage begin to the understand the nature of reality and almost instantly evaporate into the void, there is simply no point to it, is there? This world of ours would become merely a big zoo, largely a place for animals with human beings seriously sidelined or teetering on extinction. Therefore the wise men of yore adopted perpetrating stupidity and confusion as the only course of action for ensuring long-time survival of the race.

Human beings can’t last long as human beings, because to be human means to transcend being human, to become God. Now God exists nowhere! This is the conundrum. Hence the method of survival for human beings is more or less to live like stupid animals. That way they would keep being born again and again, and the circus would go on for a long time. It is really much more fun this way. Epics and their immense popularity is a way to ensure that people growing up with them from their childhood would never rise beyond an animal level of intelligence. These stories themselves are full of such animals, people who don’t have human curiosity, spirit of enquiry, sense of exploration or adventure, they just are very insistent about speaking truth and keep fighting between themselves like dogs all the time and barking a lot all along. But as I said, it is more fun to have a zoo of human beings with all kinds of colorful and interesting animal-like characters than its alternative, a vast jungle of just simple mute animals wandering about, with the rest of us humans having transcended the material realm. Epics, along with their whole cultural framework of religion, rituals, rigid morals and values performed this most essential function of preserving mankind, maintaining stability, and protecting the society from facing the oblivion.

Enlightenment was still seen as the summum bonum of human existence, but it is meaningful when it comes ultimately and not immediately, and the problem is that it is our very immediate nature. Hence the whole effort to obfuscate everything, so that people would not able to see what is so near to themselves, in fact, what is themselves. To live without this self-knowledge is to live like an animal; we are all born like animals, it is only through education and learning, seeking and searching, that we can become human. But for certain unavoidable reasons, as we have seen, the Hindu culture was compelled to let people live like dumb animals in stagnant complacency. In this country, people remained suckers down the centuries, never had the intelligence to question, to reason, to investigate, to analyze, to create science, to develop technology, to turn life into an enormously thrilling adventure that it should be. Because, who knows, if in the process they rediscover the truths their forefathers had stumbled upon, it could result in untold damage to the society and humanity at large. India, this great holy land, sacrificed itself to preserve humanity! It became, in the words of Nirad C. Chaudary, the Continent of Circe, Circe being the evil witch of some Greek legend who turned all the men that entered her domain into pigs! And that is the fact. In this country that discovered the profoundest truths of existence, people’s natural intelligence had to be kept suppressed at the level of early teenagers. Gods, epics, ethics, the theory of karma, all of the nonsense is simply a part of this process. We swamijis and bla(h)bla(h)s are of course the primary agencies of executing the whole agenda.

The great vedantic truths were still available scattered in Upanishads and many other great books like Astavakra Gita; real seekers and searchers have been getting enlightened down through the ages. But that is just fine, so long as it happened at the margins of the society and was never a mainstream business. Occasionally there have been sages and gurus too who after becoming enlightened themselves set about single-mindedly to awaken the masses, people such as Ramana Mahrishi, Nisargaddata Maharaj or Osho in our modern times, but fortunately they never could create much impact. The heroes of this land remain Rama, Krishna, Arjuna, Gandhi and the whole imbecile lot. And of course who could forget myself!

There you have it, the truth in all its simplicity and directness. I hope you appreciate my effort here, and my general compulsion to fool people to no end. Because it is only the sham enlightened people like us who benefit the society, keep the wheel of samsara rolling. If like the Upanishadic seers we went on proclaiming, “Thou art That” or like Ramana Maharishi we went on urging people to inquire “Who Am I” — this society could have collapsed long back. Our duty is simply to supply opium to the masses, putting it in Marxian phraseology. The very existence of society is owing to the presence of great souls like us who distract and entertain people by performing magic tricks and telling them inspiring stories from our great epics.

In all the long ages before the advent of cable TV, people were innocent, trusting, and open to receive magic in their hearts. But nowadays they have become too smart, especially the younger generation, the ipod and internet generation. People simply have lost interest in magic tricks, because they have seen them all on the TV, and people easily tend to dismiss our great epics, because they have seen so many soaps on the TV. All this does not bode too well for the future of our society. In a bid to check such inauspicious trends, I have been making claims for quite some time now that the stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata are not simply stories but events that really happened. I was hoping that at least youngsters who watch channels such as History, Discovery, National Geographic could be motivated to take interest in our epics if they considered the possibility of them being real. I was somehow expecting that my statements would create a furor, that there would be a nationwide upsurge of interest in our epics. However, my words only fell on deaf ears. Nothing happened. Nobody seems to be listening to me or believing in what I say anymore, except for the doddering lot of the octogenarian slot of which I too have become one. That was when I realized that desperate times call for desperate measures!

I hit upon the idea of The Truth Television. People need proof, we will give them the proof! And what more proof can there possibly be than watching the thing in front of your eyes as it is happening, live, scene by scene. I decided to buy exclusive broadcast rights for Mahabla(h)rata and live telecast it to audiences world-wide. It would create uproar, a sensation the like of which was never witnessed on this planet. The idea was simply great, I only needed some kind of time machine to go back to the Mahabla(h)rata times and implement it. Admittedly, it would be a difficult task to get my hands on such a device, but not impossible. Around this time, 2006-2007, a Hollywood blockbuster was released in which they show FBI having this fantastic technology of creating a window in time through which we can see up to four days in the past at any location we choose, and the Denzel Washington character actually goes into it, slips into the past to find a terrorist. This is exactly the kind of technology I needed. So I traveled to the US, visited Langley FBI Headquarters and held discussions with them.

I told them that in ancient India people were obsessed with speaking truth, as they confused Truth with a capital T with truth with a small t, simply because the Indian alphabet has no capital letters. Because of this obsession, they used all their brains and technology and invented a machine looking like a small pedestal on which if some person stands he would just let out all the dark secrets of his mind. (Incidentally such a machine was depicted in a hugely popular Mahabla(h)rata movie of yesteryears). The FBI really got interested, and I said I had an ancient blueprint for constructing such a machine, something that was secretly passed down generation after generation through the millennia until it came into my possession. I said I was willing to trade it for a specimen of this fabulous Time Window based on the concept of Einstein-Rosen bridge as shown in the movie Deja Vu. They were open-minded, and expressed interest. In all good faith, I handed over to them my Sanskrit manuscript which none of us in India could decipher anyway. They took photographs of it, and returned it to me saying we had a deal. I was very happy. The agent talking to me though put on a sorry expression and said that unfortunately all that huge LCD-screen time window thing was purely a creation of Hollywood FX wizards, that there was no such apparatus in reality. I was really shocked. But the agent confirmed it repeatedly, it took me a little while to swallow the truth. The agent went on to say that the deal was on nonetheless and in exchange for the artifact of ancient technology I had graciously provided them they were willing to offer any of their expert services I may need, for example, some agents could come down to India and investigate all the frauds happening at my ashram and clean up the place if I wanted. Oh no, anything but that! I simply said, no thanks and came away, dejected. It was the first time in a career spanning nearly half a century that the duper was duped. But anyway, even if I got that time machine it wouldn’t have been of much use, since it only went 4 days into the past and I needed to go 4000 years! Besides the power it consumed was enormous, and if I had used it I would have needed to constantly display all those silly ads on my channel, just to pay for the electricity bills!

Yet I didn’t give up. For the next two years I went on assiduously in my worldwide search to find a working long-range time machine. I met many interesting people, learnt many interesting things in the process, but at the end of it all I had to simply accept the fact I could cheat one and all, all my life, but even for once in my life I couldn’t cheat time. No magic trick I had up my big loose sleeve was capable of transporting me through time. That was it. Yet I didn’t give up. In one last-ditch attempt, I decided to do go on a non-stop deep meditation session lasting years, do tapas, pray to the Lord Shiva, exactly in the way many of the illustrious characters in Mahabla(h)rata were prone to do, and finally get Shiva himself to fulfill my wish.

The problem with this was that I had never meditated much in my life, though I did a lot of chanting. Still, I took up the challenge. I was able to sit still for about 2 hours, and I couldn’t stand it... er sit it anymore, I had to simply get up, and yet I didn’t give up, so fierce was my determination. I continued for half an hour more, one hour more, two hours more, but that was the limit. I was about to swoon and fall to the ground, exactly at which point I saw the room burst in a flash of lightning, and a booming disembodied voice blared out these words:

People do not need proof
People just want a spoof
Give them the bull crap
They will take the bum rap.

At that instant, I was enlightened, yeah even me! In a brillliant flash of insight, I could see the truth, all of it. And the truth is simply that there is no Truth. It all is just an illusion. Consciousness, Atman, Brahman, self-nature, self-knowledge, enlightenment, these are all just delusive aberrations. We are all nothing but accidental by-products of evolution, and our consiousness is an even bigger accident, it is a disaster! A freak manifestation of a certain chance conglomeration of brain cells, a mere phantom phenomenon. It just appears to be there, but deprive the brain of oxygen for a few minutes, and it is gone, gone forever like it had never been there. And that is the truth of it. All of this was revealed in a single momentary flash to me. Consciousness is such an ephemeral, such a flimsy thing, what a preposterous idea to consider it eternal, immortal, the fundamental basis of all existence. The height of dupery! That is why the voice told me there is no need for any proof, if there were truth there would have been a need for some proof, but if illusion is all there is, we can all have lots of fun just goofing around, and enjoying a nice spoof now and then, until our roof cracks one day and we disappear into thin air, poof! Whether Truth is there or not, we have do the vanishing act one day, so what is the big difference anyway? There is one big difference though, which is that if Truth is there we would be vanishing after dragging it through thousands of lives, but since truth isn't there, we would have to pack all the fun of thousands of lives into one little brief lifetime. Doesn't sound too bad to me though! People may not know this side of me much but I am all for fun. And since I got enlightened, it all keeps getting more and more fun to me. And now, through the totally fake TTTV, I would like to share some of the fun with you. Get ready to watch live action Mahabla(h)rata, the mind-blowing reality show, right from the comfort of your homes.

There are going to be two distinct but interspersing parts in each episode, the Bull Crap part and the Bum Rap part. The Bull Crap part is more or less the general flow of the story, and the Bum Rap part which appears in the bracketed portions offers my expert commentary, analysis, and even direct interviews with the participants right at the scene of action or immediately thereafter. Enjoy!

13.3.09

Lunatic Christian Ethics

The Christian emphasis on the individual soul has had a profound influence upon the ethics of Christian communities. It is a doctrine fundamentally akin to that of the Stoics, arising as theirs did in communities that could no longer cherish political hopes. The natural impulse of the vigorous person of decent character is to attempt to do good, but if he is deprived of all political power and of all opportunity to influence events, he will be deflected from his natural course and will decide that the important thing is to be good. This is what happened to the early Christians; it led to a conception of personal holiness as something quite independent of beneficent action, since holiness had to be something that could be achieved by people who were impotent in action. Social virtue came therefore to be excluded from Christian ethics. To this day conventional Christians think an adulterer more wicked than a politician who takes bribes, although the latter probably does a thousand times as much harm. The medieval conception of virtue, as one sees in their pictures, was of something wishy-washy, feeble, and sentimental. The most virtuous man was the man who retired from the world; the only men of action who were regarded as saints were those who wasted the lives and substance of their subjects in fighting the Turks, like St. Louis. The church would never regard a man as a saint because he reformed the finances, or the criminal law, or the judiciary. Such mere contributions to human welfare would be regarded as of no importance. I do not believe there is a single saint in the whole calendar whose saintship is due to work of public utility. With this separation between the social and the moral person there went an increasing separation between soul and body, which has survived in Christian metaphysics and in the systems derived from Descartes. One may say, broadly speaking, that the body represents the social and public part of a man, whereas the soul represents the private part. In emphasizing the soul, Christian ethics has made itself completely individualistic. I think it is clear that the net result of all the centuries of Christianity has been to make men more egotistic, more shut up in themselves, than nature made them; for the impulses that naturally take a man outside the walls of his ego are those of sex, parenthood, and patriotism or herd instinct. Sex the church did everything it could to decry and degrade; family affection was decried by Christ himself and the bulk of his followers; and patriotism could find no place among the subject populations of the Roman Empire. The polemic against the family in the Gospels is a matter that has not received the attention it deserves. The church treats the Mother of Christ with reverence, but He Himself showed little of this attitude. "Woman, what have I to do with thee?" (John ii, 4) is His way of speaking to her. He says also that He has come to set a man at variance against his father, the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and that he that loveth father and mother more than Him is not worthy of Him (Matt. x, 35-37). All this means the breakup of the biological family tie for the sake of creed — an attitude which had a great deal to do with the intolerance that came into the world with the spread of Christianity.

This individualism culminated in the doctrine of the immortality of the individual soul, which was to enjoy hereafter endless bliss or endless woe according to circumstances. The circumstances upon which this momentous difference depended were somewhat curious. For example, if you died immediately after a priest had sprinkled water upon you while pronouncing certain words, you inherited eternal bliss; whereas, if after a long and virtuous life you happened to be struck by lightning at a moment when you were using bad language because you had broken a bootlace, you would inherit eternal torment. I do not say that the modern Protestant Christian believes this, nor even perhaps the modern Catholic Christian who has not been adequately instructed in theology; but I do say that this is the orthodox doctrine and was firmly believed until recent times. The Spaniards in Mexico and Peru used to baptize Indian infants and then immediately dash their brains out: by this means they secured that these infants went to Heaven. No orthodox Christian can find any logical reason for condemning their action, although all nowadays do so. In countless ways the doctrine of personal immortality in its Christian form has had disastrous effects upon morals, and the metaphysical separation of soul and body has had disastrous effects upon philosophy.


- "Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?" Bertrand Russell

Lunatic Jewish Beliefs

The intolerance that spread over the world with the advent of Christianity is one of the most curious features, due, I think, to the Jewish belief in righteousness and in the exclusive reality of the Jewish God. Why the Jews should have had these peculiarities I do not know. They seem to have developed during the captivity as a reaction against the attempt to absorb the Jews into alien populations. However that may be, the Jews, and more especially the prophets, invented emphasis upon personal righteousness and the idea that it is wicked to tolerate any religion except one. These two ideas have had an extraordinarily disastrous effect upon Occidental history. The church made much of the persecution of Christians by the Roman State before the time of Constantine. This persecution, however, was slight and intermittent and wholly political. At all times, from the age of Constantine to the end of the seventeenth century, Christians were far more fiercely persecuted by other Christians than they ever were by the Roman emperors. Before the rise of Christianity this persecuting attitude was unknown to the ancient world except among the Jews. If you read, for example, Herodotus, you find a bland and tolerant account of the habits of the foreign nations he visited. Sometimes, it is true, a peculiarly barbarous custom may shock him, but in general he is hospitable to foreign gods and foreign customs. He is not anxious to prove that people who call Zeus by some other name will suffer eternal punishment and ought to be put to death in order that their punishment may begin as soon as possible. This attitude has been reserved for Christians. It is true that the modern Christian is less robust, but that is not thanks to Christianity; it is thanks to the generations of freethinkers, who from the Renaissance to the present day, have made Christians ashamed of many of their traditional beliefs. It is amusing to hear the modern Christian telling you how mild and rationalistic Christianity really is and ignoring the fact that all its mildness and rationalism is due to the teaching of men who in their own day were persecuted by all orthodox Christians. Nobody nowadays believes that the world was created in 4004 b.c.; but not so very long ago skepticism on this point was thought an abominable crime. My great-great- grandfather, after observing the depth of the lava on the slopes of Etna, came to the conclusion that the world must be older than the orthodox supposed and published this opinion in a book. For this offense he was cut by the county and ostracized from society. Had he been a man in humbler circumstances, his punishment would doubtless have been more severe. It is no credit to the orthodox that they do not now believe all the absurdities that were believed 150 years ago. The gradual emasculation of the Christian doctrine has been effected in spite of the most vigorous resistance, and solely as the result of the onslaughts of freethinkers.


- "Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?" Bertrand Russell

An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell

Man is a rational animal—so at least I have been told. Throughout a long life, I have looked diligently for evidence in favor of this statement, but so far I have not had the good fortune to come across it, though I have searched in many countries spread over three continents. On the contrary, I have seen the world plunging continually further into madness. I have seen great nations, formerly leaders of civilization, led astray by preachers of bombastic nonsense. I have seen cruelty, persecution, and superstition increasing by leaps and bounds, until we have almost reached the point where praise of rationality is held to mark a man as an old fogey regrettably surviving from a bygone age. All this is depressing, but gloom is a useless emotion. In order to escape from it, I have been driven to study the past with more attention than I had formerly given to it, and have found, as Erasmus found, that folly is perennial and yet the human race has survived. The follies of our own times are easier to bear when they are seen against the background of past follies. In what follows I shall mix the sillinesses of our day with those of former centuries. Perhaps the result may help in seeing our own times in perspective, and as not much worse than other ages that our ancestors lived through without ultimate disaster.

Aristotle, so far as I know, was the first man to proclaim explicitly that man is a rational animal. His reason for this view was one which does not now seem very impressive; it was, that some people can do sums. He thought that there are three kinds of soul: the vegetable soul, possessed by all living things, both plants and animals, and concerned only with nourishment and growth; the animal soul, concerned with locomotion, and shared by man with the lower animals; and finally the rational soul, or intellect, which is the Divine mind, but in which men participate to a greater or less degree in proportion to their wisdom. It is in virtue of the intellect that man is a rational animal. The intellect is shown in various ways, but most emphatically by mastery of arithmetic. The Greek system of numerals was very bad, so that the multiplication table was quite difficult, and complicated calculations could only be made by very clever people. Now-a-days, however, calculating machines do sums better than even the cleverest people, yet no one contends that these useful instruments are immortal, or work by divine inspiration. As arithmetic has grown easier, it has come to be less respected. The consequence is that, though many philosophers continue to tell us what fine fellows we are, it is no longer on account of our arithmetical skill that they praise us.

Since the fashion of the age no longer allows us to point to calculating boys as evidence that man is rational and the soul, at least in part, immortal, let us look elsewhere. Where shall we look first? Shall we look among eminent statesmen, who have so triumphantly guided the world into its present condition? Or shall we choose the men of letters? Or the philosophers? All these have their claims, but I think we should begin with those whom all right thinking people acknowledge to be the wisest as well as the best of men, namely the clergy. If they fail to be rational, what hope is there for us lesser mortals? And alas—though I say it with all due respect—there have been times when their wisdom has not been very obvious, and, strange to say, these were especially the times when the power of the clergy was greatest.

The Ages of Faith, which are praised by our neo-scholastics, were the time when the clergy had things all their own way. Daily life was full of miracles wrought by saints and wizardry perpetrated by devils and necromancers. Many thousands of witches were burnt at the stake. Men's sins were punished by pestilence and famine, by earthquake, flood, and fire. And yet, strange to say, they were even more sinful than they are now-a-days. Very little was known scientifically about the world. A few learned men remembered Greek proofs that the earth is round, but most people made fun of the notion that there are antipodes. To suppose that there are human beings at the antipodes was heresy. It was generally held (though modem Catholics take a milder view) that the immense majority of mankind are damned. Dangers were held to lurk at every turn. Devils would settle on the food that monks were about to eat, and would take possession of the bodies of incautious feeders who omitted to make the sign of the Cross before each mouthful. Old-fashioned people still say "bless you" when one sneezes, but they have forgotten the reason for the custom. The reason was that people were thought to sneeze out their souls, and before their souls could get back lurking demons were apt to enter the unsouled body; but if any one said "God bless you," the demons were frightened off.

Throughout the last 400 years, during which the growth of science had gradually shown men how to acquire knowledge of the ways of nature and mastery over natural forces, the clergy have fought a losing battle against science, in astronomy and geology, in anatomy and physiology, in biology and psychology and sociology. Ousted from one position, they have taken up another. After being worsted in astronomy, they did their best to prevent the rise of geology; they fought against Darwin in biology, and at the present time they fight against scientific theories of psychology and education. At each stage, they try to make the public forget their earlier obscurantism, in order that their present obscurantism may not be recognized for what it is. Let us note a few instances of irrationality among the clergy since the rise of science, and then inquire whether the rest of mankind are any better.

When Benjamin Franklin invented the lightning rod, the clergy, both in England and America, with the enthusiastic support of George III, condemned it as an impious attempt to defeat the will of God. For, as all right-thinking people were aware, lightning is sent by God to punish impiety or some other grave sin-the virtuous are never struck by lightning. Therefore if God wants to strike any one, Benjamin Franklin ought not to defeat His design; indeed, to do so is helping criminals to escape. But God was equal to the occasion, if we are to believe the eminent Dr. Price, one of the leading divines of Boston. Lightning having been rendered ineffectual by the "iron points invented by the sagacious Dr. Franklin," Massachusetts was shaken by earthquakes, which Dr. Price perceived to be due to God's wrath at the "iron points." In a sermon on the subject he said, "In Boston are more erected than elsewhere in New England, and Boston seems to be more dreadfully shaken. Oh! there is no getting out of the mighty hand of God." Apparently, however, Providence gave up all hope of curing Boston of its wickedness, for, though lightning rods became more and more common, earthquakes in Massachusetts have remained rare. Nevertheless, Dr. Price's point of view, or something very like it, is still held by one of the most influential of living men. When, at one time, there were several bad earthquakes in India, Mahatma Gandhi solemnly warned his compatriots that these disasters had been sent as a punishment for their sins.

Even in my own native island this point of view still exists. During the last war, the British Government did much to stimulate the production of food at home. In 1916, when things were not going well, a Scottish clergyman wrote to the newspapers to say that military failure was due to the fact that, with government sanction, potatoes had been planted on the Sabbath. However, disaster was averted, owing to the fact that the Germans disobeyed all the Ten Commandments, and not only one of them.

Sometimes, if pious men are to be believed, God's mercies are curiously selective. Toplady, the author of "Rock of Ages," moved from one vicarage to another; a week after the move, the vicarage he had formerly occupied burnt down, with great loss to the new vicar. Thereupon Toplady thanked God; but what the new vicar did is not known. Borrow, in his "Bible in Spain," records how without mishap he crossed a mountain pass infested by bandits. The next party to cross, however, were set upon, robbed, and some of them murdered; when Borrow heard of this, he, like Toplady, thanked God.

Although we are taught the Copernican astronomy in our textbooks, it has not yet penetrated to our religion or our morals, and has not even succeeded in destroying belief in astrology. People still think that the Divine Plan has special reference to human beings, and that a special Providence not only looks after the good, but also punishes the wicked. I am sometimes shocked by the blasphemies of those who think themselves pious-for instance, the nuns who never take a bath without wearing a bathrobe all the time. When asked why, since no man can see them, they reply: "Oh, but you forget the good God." Apparently they conceive of the Deity as a Peeping Tom, whose omnipotence enables Him to see through bathroom walls, but who is foiled by bathrobes. This view strikes me as curious.

The whole conception of "Sin" is one which I find very puzzling, doubtless owing to my sinful nature. If "Sin" consisted in causing needless suffering, I could understand; but on the contrary, sin often consists in avoiding needless suffering. Some years ago, in the English House of Lords, a bill was introduced to legalize euthanasia in cases of painful and incurable disease. The patient's consent was to be necessary, as well as several medical certificates. To me, in my simplicity, it would seem natural to require the patient's consent, but the late Archbishop of Canterbury, the English official expert on Sin, explained the erroneousness of such a view. The patient's consent turns euthanasia into suicide, and suicide is sin. Their Lordships listened to the voice of authority, and rejected the bill. Consequently, to please the Archbishop-and his God, if he reports truly-victims of cancer still have to endure months of wholly useless agony, unless their doctors or nurses are sufficiently humane to risk a charge of murder. I find difficulty in the conception of a God who gets pleasure from contemplating such tortures; and if there were a God capable of such wanton cruelty, I should certainly not think Him worthy of worship. But that only proves how sunk I am in moral depravity.

I am equally puzzled by the things that are sin and by the things that are not. When the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals asked the pope for his support, he refused it, on the ground that human beings owe no duty to the lower animals, and that ill-treating animals is not sinful. This is because animals have no souls. On the other hand, it is wicked to marry your deceased wife's sister—so at least the Church teaches—however much you and she may wish to marry. This is not because of any unhappiness that might result, but because of certain texts in the Bible.

The resurrection of the body, which is an article of the Apostles' Creed, is a dogma which has various curious consequences. There was an author not very many years ago, who had an ingenious method of calculating the date of the end of the world. He argued that there must be enough of the necessary ingredients of a human body to provide everybody with the requisites at the Last Day. By carefully calculating the available raw material, he decided that it would all have been used up by a certain date. When that date comes, the world must end, since otherwise the resurrection of the body would become impossible. Unfortunately I have forgotten what the date was, but I believe it is not very distant.

St. Thomas Aquinas, the official philosopher of the Catholic Church, discussed lengthily and seriously a very grave problem, which, I fear, modern theologians unduly neglect. He imagines a cannibal who has never eaten anything but human flesh, and whose father and mother before him had like propensities. Every particle of his body belongs rightfully to someone else. We cannot suppose that those who have been eaten by cannibals are to go short through all eternity. But, if not, what is left for the cannibal? How is he to be properly roasted in hell, if all his body is restored to its original owners? This is a puzzling question, as the Saint rightly perceives.

In this connection the orthodox have a curious objection to cremation, which seems to show an insufficient realization of God's omnipotence. It is thought that a body which has been burnt will be more difficult for Him to collect together again than one which has been put underground and transformed into worms. No doubt collecting the particles from the air and undoing the chemical work of combustion would be somewhat laborious, but it is surely blasphemous to suppose such a work impossible for the Deity. I conclude that the objection to cremation implies grave heresy. But I doubt whether my opinion will carry much weight with the orthodox.

It was only very slowly and reluctantly that the Church sanctioned the dissection of corpses in connection with the study of medicine. The pioneer in dissection was Vesalius, who was Court physician to the Emperor Charles V. His medical skill led the emperor to protect him, but after the emperor was dead he got into trouble. A corpse which he was dissecting was said to have shown signs of life under the knife, and he was accused of murder. The Inquisition was induced by King Phillip II to take a lenient view, and only sentenced him to a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. On the way home he was shipwrecked and died of exhaustion. For centuries after this time, medical students at the Papal University in Rome were only allowed to operate on lay figures, from which the sexual parts were omitted.

The sacredness of corpses is a widespread belief. It was carried furthest by the Egyptians, among whom it led to the practice of mummification. It still exists in full force in China. A French surgeon, who was employed by the Chinese to teach Western medicine, relates that his demand for corpses to dissect was received with horror, but he was assured that he could have instead an unlimited supply of live criminals. His objection to this alternative was totally unintelligible to his Chinese employers.

Although there are many kinds of sin, seven of which are deadly, the most fruitful field for Satan's wiles is sex. The orthodox Catholic doctrine on this subject is to be found in St. Paul, St. Augustine, and St. Thomas Aquinas. It is best to be celibate, but those who have not the gift of continence may marry. Intercourse in marriage is not sin, provided it is motivated by desire for offspring. All intercourse outside marriage is sin, and so is intercourse within marriage if any measures are adopted to prevent conception. Interruption of pregnancy is sin, even if, in medical opinion, it is the only way of saving the mother's life; for medical opinion is fallible, and God can always save a life by miracle if He sees fit. (This view is embodied in the law of Connecticut.) Venereal disease is God's punishment for sin. It is true that, through a guilty husband, this punishment may fall on an innocent woman and her children, but this is a mysterious dispensation of Providence, which it would be impious to question. We must also not inquire why venereal disease was not divinely instituted until the time of Columbus. Since it is the appointed penalty for sin, all measures for its avoidance are also sin—except, of course, a virtuous life. Marriage is nominally indissoluble, but many people who seem to be married are not. In the case of influential Catholics, some ground for nullity can often be found, but for the poor there is no such outlet, except perhaps in cases of impotence. Persons who divorce and remarry are guilty of adultery in the sight of God.

The phrase "in the sight of God" puzzles me. One would suppose that God sees everything, but apparently this is a mistake. He does not see Reno, for you cannot be divorced in the sight of God. Registry offices are a doubtful point. I notice that respectable people, who would not call on anybody who lives in open sin, are quite willing to call on people who have had only a civil marriage; so apparently God does see registry offices.

Some eminent men think even the doctrine of the Catholic Church deplorably lax where sex is concerned. Tolstoy and Mahatma Gandhi, in their old age, laid it down that all sexual intercourse is wicked, even in marriage and with a view to offspring. The Manicheans thought likewise, relying upon men's native sinfulness to supply them with a continually fresh crop of disciples. This doctrine, however, is heretical, though it is equally heretical to maintain that marriage is as praiseworthy as celibacy. Tolstoy thinks tobacco almost as bad as sex; in one of his novels, a man who is contemplating murder smokes a cigarette first in order to generate the necessary homicidal fury. Tobacco, however, is not prohibited in the Scriptures, though, as Samuel Butler points at, St. Paul would no doubt have denounced it if he had known of it.

It is odd that neither the Church nor modern public opinion condemns petting, provided it stops short at a certain point. At what point sin begins is a matter as to which casuists differ. One eminently orthodox Catholic divine laid it down that a confessor may fondle a nun's breasts, provided he does it without evil intent. But I doubt whether modern authorities would agree with him on this point.

Modern morals are a mixture of two elements: on the one hand, rational precepts as to how to live together peaceably in a society, and on the other hand traditional taboos derived originally from some ancient superstition, but proximately from sacred books, Christian, Mohammedan, Hindu, or Buddhist. To some extent the two agree; the prohibition of murder and theft, for instance, is supported both by human reason and by Divine command. But the prohibition of pork or beef has only scriptural authority, and that only in certain religions. It is odd that modern men, who are aware of what science has done in the way of bringing new knowledge and altering the conditions of social life, should still be willing to accept the authority of texts embodying the outlook of very ancient and very ignorant pastoral or agricultural tribes. It is discouraging that many of the precepts whose sacred character is thus uncritically acknowledged should be such as to inflict much wholly unnecessary misery. If men's kindly impulses were stronger, they would find some way of explaining that these precepts are not to be taken literally, any more than the command to "sell all that thou hast and give to the poor."

There are logical difficulties in the notion of sin. We are told that sin consists in disobedience to God's commands, but we are also told that God is omnipotent. If He is, nothing contrary to His will can occur; therefore when the sinner disobeys His commands, He must have intended this to happen. St. Augustine boldly accepts this view, and asserts that men are led to sin by a blindness with which God afflicts them. But most theologians, in modern times, have felt that, if God causes men to sin, it is not fair to send them to hell for what they cannot help. We are told that sin consists in acting contrary to God's will. This, however, does not get rid of the difficulty. Those who, like Spinoza, take God's omnipotence seriously, deduce that there can be no such thing as sin. This leads to frightful results. What! said Spinoza's contemporaries, was it not wicked of Nero to murder his mother? Was it not wicked of Adam to eat the apple? Is one action just as good as another? Spinoza wriggles, but does not find any satisfactory answer. If everything happens in accordance with God's will, God must have wanted Nero to murder his mother; therefore, since God is good, the murder must have been a good thing. From this argument there is no escape.

On the other hand, those who are in earnest in thinking that sin is disobedience to God are compelled to say that God is not omnipotent. This gets out of all the logical puzzles, and is the view adopted by a certain school of liberal theologians. It has, however, its own difficulties. How are we to know what really is God's will? If the forces of evil have a certain share of power, they may deceive us into accepting as Scripture what is really their work. This was the view of the Gnostics, who thought that the Old Testament was the work of an evil spirit.

As soon as we abandon our own reason, and are content to rely upon authority, there is no end to our troubles. Whose authority? The Old Testament? The New Testament? The Koran? In practice, people choose the book considered sacred by the community in which they are born, and out of that book they choose the parts they like, ignoring the others. At one time, the most influential text in the Bible was: "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Now-a-days, people pass over this text, in silence if possible; if not, with an apology. And so, even when we have a sacred book, we still choose as truth whatever suits our own prejudices. No Catholic, for instance, takes seriously the text which says that a bishop should be the husband of one wife.

People's beliefs have various causes. One is that there is some evidence for the belief in question. We apply this to matters of fact, such as "what is so-and-so's telephone number?" or "who won the World Series?" But as soon as it comes to anything more debatable, the causes of belief become less defensible. We believe, first and foremost, what makes us feel that we are fine fellows. Mr. Homo, if he has a good digestion and a sound income, thinks to himself how much more sensible he is than his neighbor so-and-so, who married a flighty wife and is always losing money. He thinks how superior his city is to the one 50 miles away: it has a bigger Chamber of Commerce and a more enterprising Rotary Club, and its mayor has never been in prison. He thinks how immeasurably his country surpasses all others. If he is an Englishman, he thinks of Shakespeare and Milton, or of Newton and Darwin, or of Nelson and Wellington, according to his temperament. If he is a Frenchman, he congratulates himself on the fact that for centuries France has led the world in culture, fashions, and cookery. If he is a Russian, he reflects that he belongs to the only nation which is truly international. If he is a Yugoslav, he boasts of his nation's pigs; if a native of the Principality of Monaco, he boasts of leading the world in the matter of gambling.

But these are not the only matters on which he has to congratulate himself. For is he not an individual of the species homo sapiens? Alone among animals he has an immortal soul, and is rational; he knows the difference between good and evil, and has learnt the multiplication table. Did not God make him in His own image? And was not everything created for man's convenience? The sun was made to light the day, and the moon to light the night—though the moon, by some oversight, only shines during half the nocturnal hours. The raw fruits of the earth were made for human sustenance. Even the white tails of rabbits, according to some theologians, have a purpose, namely to make it easier for sportsmen to shoot them. There are, it is true, some inconveniences: lions and tigers are too fierce, the summer is too hot, and the winter too cold. But these things only began after Adam ate the apple; before that, all animals were vegetarians, and the season was always spring. If only Adam had been content with peaches and nectarines, grapes and pears and pineapples, these blessings would still be ours.

Self-importance, individual or generic, is the source of most of our religious beliefs. Even sin is a conception derived from self-importance. Borrow relates how he met a Welsh preacher who was always melancholy. By sympathetic questioning he was brought to confess the source of his sorrow: that at the age of seven he had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost. "My dear fellow," said Borrow, "don't let that trouble you; I know dozens of people in like case. Do not imagine yourself cut off from the rest of mankind by this occurrence; if you inquire, you will find multitudes who suffer from the same misfortune." From that moment, the man was cured. He had enjoyed feeling singular, but there was no pleasure in being one of a herd of sinners. Most sinners are rather less egotistical; but theologians undoubtedly enjoy the feeling that Man is the special object of God's wrath, as well as of His love. After the Fall—so Milton assures us—

The Sun Had first his precept so to move, so shine, As might affect the Earth with cold and heat Scarce tolerable, and from the North to call Decrepit Winter, from the South to bring Solstitial summer's heat.

However disagreeable the results may have been, Adam could hardly help feeling flattered that such vast astronomical phenomena should be brought about to teach him a lesson. The whole of theology, in regard to hell no less than to heaven, takes it for granted that Man is what is of most importance in the Universe of created beings. Since all theologians are men, this postulate has met with little opposition.

Since evolution became fashionable, the glorification of Man has taken a new form. We are told that evolution has been guided by one great Purpose: through the millions of years when there were only slime, or trilobites, throughout the ages of dinosaurs and giant ferns, of bees and wild flowers, God was preparing the Great Climax. At last, in the fullness of time, He produced Man, including such specimens as Nero and Caligula, Hitler and Mussolini, whose transcendent glory justified the long painful process. For my part, I find even eternal damnation less incredible, and certainly less ridiculous, than this lame and impotent conclusion which we are asked to admire as the supreme effort of Omnipotence. And if God is indeed omnipotent, why could He not have produced the glorious result without such a long and tedious prologue?

Apart from the question whether Man is really so glorious as the theologians of evolution say he is, there is the further difficulty that life on this planet is almost certainly temporary. The earth will grow cold, or the atmosphere will gradually fly off, or there will be an insufficiency of water, or, as Sir James Jeans genially prophesies, the sun will burst and all the planets will be turned into gas. Which of those will happen first, no one knows; but in any case the human race will ultimately die out. Of course, such an event is of little importance from the point of view of orthodox theology, since men are immortal, and will continue to exist in heaven and hell when none are left on earth. But in that case why bother about terrestrial developments? Those who lay stress on the gradual progress from the primitive slime to Man attach an importance to this mundane sphere which should make them shrink from the conclusion that all life on earth is only a brief interlude between the nebula and the eternal frost, or perhaps between one nebula and another. The importance of Man, which is the one indispensable dogma of the theologians, receives no support from a scientific view of the future of the solar system.

There are many other sources of false belief besides self-importance. One of these is love of the marvelous. I knew at one time a scientifically-minded conjurer, who used to perform his tricks before a small audience, and then get them, each separately, to write down what they had seen happen. Almost always they wrote down something much more astonishing than the reality, and usually something which no conjurer could have achieved; yet they all thought they were reporting truly what they had seen with their own eyes. This sort of falsification is still more true of rumors. A tells B that last night he saw Mr.-, the eminent prohibitionist, slightly the worse for liquor; B tells C that A saw the good man reeling drunk, C tells D that he was picked up unconscious in the ditch, D tells E that he is well known to pass out every evening. Here, it is true, another motive comes in, namely malice. We like to think ill of our neighbors, and are prepared to believe the worst on very little evidence. But even where there is no such motive, what is marvelous is readily believed unless it goes against some strong prejudice. All history until the eighteenth century is full of prodigies and wonders which modern historians ignore, not because they are less well attested than facts which the historians accept, but because modem taste among the learned prefers what science regards as probable. Shakespeare relates how on the night before Caesar was killed,

A common slave—you know him well by sight— Held up his left hand, which did flame and burn Like twenty torches join'd; and yet his hand, Not sensible of fire, remain'd unscorch'd. Besides—I have not since put up my sword— Against the Capitol I met a lion, Who glar'd upon me, and went surly by, Without annoying me; and there were drawn Upon a heap a hundred ghastly women, Transformed with their fear, who swore they saw Men all in fire walk up and down the streets.

Shakespeare did not invent these marvels; he found them in reputable historians, who are among those upon whom we depend for our knowledge concerning Julius Caesar. This sort of thing always used to happen at the death of a great man or the beginning of an important war. Even so recently as 1914 the "angels of Mons" encouraged the British troops. The evidence for such events is very seldom first-hand, and modern historians refuse to accept it—except, of course, where the event is one that has religious importance.

Every powerful emotion has its own myth-making tendency. When the emotion is peculiar to an individual, he is considered more or less mad if he gives credence to such myths as he has invented. But when an emotion is collective, as in war, there is no one to correct the myths that naturally arise. Consequently in all times of great collective excitement unfounded rumors obtain wide credence. In September, 1914, almost everybody in England believed that Russian troops had passed through England on the way to the Western Front. Everybody knew someone who had seen them, though no one had seen them himself.

This myth-making faculty is often allied with cruelty. Ever since the middle ages, the Jews have been accused of practising ritual murder. There is not an iota of evidence for this accusation, and no sane person who has examined it believes it. Nevertheless it persists. I have met white Russians who were convinced of its truth, and among many Nazis it is accepted without question. Such myths give an excuse for the infliction of torture, and the unfounded belief in them is evidence of the unconscious desire to find some victim to persecute.

There was, until the end of the eighteenth century, a theory that insanity is due to possession by devils. It was inferred that any pain suffered by the patient is also suffered by the devils, so that the best cure is to make the patient suffer so much that the devils will decide to abandon him. The insane, in accordance with this theory, were savagely beaten. This treatment was tried on King George III when he was mad, but without success. It is a curious and painful fact that almost all the completely futile treatments that have been believed in during the long history of medical folly have been such as caused acute suffering to the patient. When anaesthetics were discovered, pious people considered them an attempt to evade the will of God. It was pointed out, however, that when God extracted Adam's rib He put him into a deep sleep. This proved that anaesthetics are all right for men; women, however, ought to suffer, because of the curse of Eve. In the West votes for women proved this doctrine mistaken, but in Japan, to this day, women in childbirth are not allowed any alleviation through anaesthetics. As the Japanese do not believe in Genesis, this piece of sadism must have some other justification.

The fallacies about "race" and "blood," which have always been popular, and which the Nazis have embodied in their official creed, have no objective justification; they are believed solely because they minister to self-esteem and to the impulse toward cruelty. In one form or another, these beliefs are as old as civilization; their forms change, but their essence remains. Herodotus tells how Cyrus was brought up by peasants, in complete ignorance of his royal blood; at the age of twelve his kingly bearing toward other peasant boys revealed the truth. This is a variant of an old story which is found in all Indo-European countries. Even quite modem people say that "blood will tell." It is no use for scientific physiologists to assure the world that there is no difference between the blood of a Negro and the blood of a white man. The American Red Cross, in obedience to popular prejudice, at first, when America became involved in the present war, decreed that no Negro blood should be used for blood transfusion. As a result of an agitation, it was conceded that Negro blood might be used, but only for Negro patients. Similarly, in Germany, the Aryan soldier who needs blood transfusion is carefully protected from the contamination of Jewish blood.

In the matter of race, there are different beliefs in different societies. Where monarchy is firmly established, kings are of a higher race than their subjects. Until very recently, it was universally believed that men are congenitally more intelligent than women; even so enlightened a man as Spinoza decides against votes for women on this ground. Among white men, it is held that white men are by nature superior to men of other colors, and especially to black men; in Japan, on the contrary, it is thought that yellow is the best color. In Haiti, when they make statues of Christ and Satan, they make Christ black and Satan white. Aristotle and Plato considered Greeks so innately superior to barbarians that slavery is justified so long as the master is Greek and the slave barbarian. The Nazis and the American legislators who made the immigration laws consider the Nordics superior to Slavs or Latins or any other white men. But the Nazis, under the stress of war, have been led to the conclusion that there are hardly any true Nordics outside Germany; the Norwegians, except Quisling and his few followers, have been corrupted by intermixture with Finns and Laps and such. Thus politics are a clue to descent. The biologically pure Nordic loves Hitler, and if you do not love Hitler, that is proof of tainted blood.

All this is, of course, pure nonsense, known to be such by every-one who has studied the subject. In schools in America, children of the most diverse origins are subjected to the same educational system, and those whose business it is to measure intelligence quotients and otherwise estimate the native ability of students are unable to make any such racial distinctions as are postulated by the theorists of race. In every national or racial group there are clever children and stupid children. It is not likely that, in the United States, colored children will develop as successfully as white children, because of the stigma of social inferiority; but in so far as congenital ability can be detached from environmental influence, there is no clear distinction among different groups. The whole conception of superior races is merely a myth generated by the overweening self-esteem of the holders of power. It may be that, some day, better evidence will be forthcoming; perhaps, in time, educators will be able to prove (say) that Jews are on the average more intelligent than gentiles. But as yet no such evidence exists, and all talk of superior races must be dismissed as nonsense.

There is a special absurdity in applying racial theories to the various populations of Europe. There is not in Europe any such thing as a pure race. Russians have an admixture of Tartar blood, Germans are largely Slavonic, France is a mixture of Celts, Germans, and people of Mediterranean race, Italy the same with the addition of the descendants of slaves imported by the Romans. The English are perhaps the most mixed of all. There is no evidence that there is any advantage in belonging to a pure race. The purest races now in existence are the Pygmies, the Hottentots, and the Australian aborigines; the Tasmanians, who were probably even purer, are extinct. They were not the bearers of a brilliant culture. The ancient Greeks, on the other hand, emerged from an amalgamation of northern barbarians and an indigenous population; the Athenians and Ionians, who were the most civilized, were also the most mixed. The supposed merits of racial purity are, it would seem, wholly imaginary.

Superstitions about blood have many forms that have nothing to do with race. The objection to homicide seems to have been, originally, based on the ritual pollution caused by the blood of the victim. God said to Cain: "The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground." According to some anthropologists, the mark of Cain was a disguise to prevent Abel's blood from finding him; this appears also to be the original reason for wearing mourning. In many ancient communities no difference was made between murder and accidental homicide; in either case equally ritual ablution was necessary. The feeling that blood defiles still lingers, for example in the Churching of Women and in taboos connected with menstruation. The idea that a child is of his father's "blood" has the same superstitious origin. So far as actual blood is concerned, the mother's enters into the child, but not the father's. If blood were as important as is supposed, matriarchy would be the only proper way of tracing descent.

In Russia, where, under the influence of Karl Marx, people since the revolution have been classified by their economic origin, difficulties have arisen not unlike those of German race theorists over the Scandinavian Nordies. There were two theories that had to be reconciled: on the one hand, proletarians were good and other people were bad; on the other hand, communists were good and other people were bad. The only way of effecting a reconciliation was to alter the meaning of words. A "proletarian" came to mean a supporter of the government; Lenin, though born a Prince, was reckoned a member of the proletariat. On the other hand, the word "kulak," which was supposed to mean a rich peasant, came to mean any peasant who opposed collectivization. This sort of absurdity always arises when one group of human beings is supposed to be inherently better than another. In America, the highest praise that can be bestowed on an eminent colored man after he is safely dead is to say "he was a white man." A courageous woman is called "masculine": Macbeth, praising his wife's courage, says:

Bring forth men children only, For thy undaunted mettle should compose Nothing but males.

All these ways of speaking come of unwillingness to abandon foolish generalizations.

In the economic sphere there are many widespread superstitions. Why do people value gold and precious stones? Not simply because of their rarity: there are a number of elements called "rare earths" which are much rarer than gold, but no one will give a penny for them except a few men of science. There is a theory, for which there is much to be said, that gold and gems were valued originally on account of their supposed magical properties. The mistakes of governments in modem times seem to show that this belief still exists among the sort of men who are called "practical." At the end of the last war, it was agreed that Germany should pay vast sums to England and France, and they in turn should pay vast sums to the United States. Every one wanted to be paid in money rather than goods; the "practical" men failed to notice that there is not that amount of money in the world. They also failed to notice that money is no use unless it is used to buy goods. As they would not use it in this way, it did no good to anyone. There was supposed to be some mystic virtue about gold that made it worth while to dig it up in the Transvaal and put it underground again in bank vaults in America. In the end, of course, the debtor countries had no more money, and, since they were not allowed to pay in goods, they went bankrupt. The Great Depression was the direct result of the surviving belief in the magical properties of gold. It is to be feared that some similar superstition will cause equally bad results after the end of the present war.

Politics is largely governed by sententious platitudes which are devoid of truth.

One of the most widespread popular maxims is, "human nature cannot be changed." No one can say whether this is true or not without first defining "human nature." But as used it is certainly false. When Mr. A utters the maxim, with an air of portentous and conclusive wisdom, what he means is that all men everywhere will always continue to behave as they do in his own home town. A little anthropology will dispel this belief. Among the Tibetans, one wife has many husbands, because men are too poor to support a whole wife; yet family life, according to travellers, is no more unhappy than elsewhere. The practice of lending one's wife to a guest is very common among uncivilized tribes. The Australian aborigines, at puberty, undergo a very painful operation which, throughout the rest of their lives, greatly diminishes sexual potency. Infanticide, which might seem contrary to human nature, was almost universal before the rise of Christianity, and is recommended by Plato to prevent over-population. Private property is not recognized among some savage tribes. Even among highly civilized people, economic considerations will override what is called "human nature." In Moscow, where there is an acute housing shortage, when an unmarried woman is pregnant, it often happens that a number of men contend for the legal right to be considered the father of the prospective child, because whoever is judged to be the father acquires the right to share the woman's room, and half a room is better than no room.

In fact, adult "human nature" is extremely variable, according to the circumstances of education. Food and sex are very general requirements, but the hermits of the Thebaid eschewed sex altogether and reduced food to the lowest point compatible with survival. By diet and training, people can be made ferocious or meek, masterful or slavish, as may suit the educator. There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. Plato intended his Republic to be founded on a myth which he admitted to be absurd, but he was rightly confident that the populace could be induced to believe it. Hobbes, who thought it important that people should reverence the government however unworthy it might be, meets the argument that it might be difficult to obtain general assent to anything so irrational by pointing out that people have been brought to believe in the Christian religion, and, in particular, in the dogma of transubstantiation. If he had been alive now, he would have found ample confirmation in the devotion of German youth to the Nazis.

The power of governments over men's beliefs has been very great ever since the rise of large States. The great majority of Romans became Christian after the Roman emperors had been converted. In the parts of the Roman Empire that were conquered by the Arabs, most people abandoned Christianity for Islam. The division of Western Europe into Protestant and Catholic regions was determined by the attitude of governments in the sixteenth century. But the power of governments over belief in the present day is vastly greater than at any earlier time. A belief, however untrue, is important when it dominates the actions of large masses of men. In this sense, the beliefs inculcated by the Japanese, Russian, and German governments are important. Since they are completely divergent, they cannot all be true, though they may well all be false. Unfortunately they are such as to inspire men with an ardent desire to kill one another, even to the point of almost completely inhibiting the impulse of self-preservation. No one can deny, in face of the evidence, that it is easy, given military power, to produce a population of fanatical lunatics. It would be equally easy to produce a population of sane and reasonable people, but many governments do not wish to do so, since such people would fail to admire the politicians who are at the head of these governments.

There is one peculiarly pernicious application of the doctrine that human nature cannot be changed. This is the dogmatic assertion that there will always be wars, because we are so constituted that we feel a need of them. What is true is that a man who has had the kind of diet and education that most men have will wish to fight when provoked. But he will not actually fight unless he has a chance of victory. It is very annoying to be stopped by a speed cop, but we do not fight him because we know that he has the overwhelming forces of the State at his back. People who have no occasion for war do not make any impression of being psychologically thwarted. Sweden has had no war since 1814, but the Swedes were, a few years ago, one of the happiest and most contented nations in the world. I doubt whether they are so still, but that is because, though neutral, they are unable to escape many of the evils of war. If political organization were such as to make war obviously unprofitable, there is nothing in human nature that would compel its occurrence, or make average people unhappy because of its not occurring. Exactly the same arguments that are now used about the impossibility of preventing war were formerly used in defense of duelling, yet few of us feel thwarted because we are not allowed to fight duels.

I am persuaded that there is absolutely no limit to the absurdities that can, by government action, come to be generally believed. Give me an adequate army, with power to provide it with more pay and better food than falls to the lot of the average man, and I will undertake, within thirty years, to make the majority of the population believe that two and two are three, that water freezes when it gets hot and boils when it gets cold, or any other nonsense that might seem to serve the interest of the State. Of course, even when these beliefs had been generated, people would not put the kettle in the ice-box when they wanted it to boil. That cold makes water boil would be a Sunday truth, sacred and mystical, to be professed in awed tones, but not to be acted on in daily life. What would happen would be that any verbal denial of the mystic doctrine would be made illegal, and obstinate heretics would be "frozen" at the stake. No person who did not enthusiastically accept the official doctrine would be allowed to teach or to have any position of power. Only the very highest officials, in their cups, would whisper to each other what rubbish it all is; then they would laugh and drink again. This is hardly a caricature of what happens under some modern governments.

The discovery that man can be scientifically manipulated, and that governments can turn large masses this way or that as they choose, is one of the causes of our misfortunes. There is as much difference between a collection of mentally free citizens and a community molded by modern methods of propaganda as there is between a heap of raw materials and a battleship. Education, which was at first made universal in order that all might be able to read and write, has been found capable of serving quite other purposes. By instilling nonsense it unifies populations and generates collective enthusiasm. If all governments taught the same nonsense, the harm would not be so great. Unfortunately each has its own brand, and the diversity serves to produce hostility between the devotees of different creeds. If there is ever to be peace in the world, governments will have to agree either to inculcate no dogmas, or all to inculcate the same. The former, I fear, is a Utopian ideal, but perhaps they could agree to teach collectively that all public men, everywhere, are completely virtuous and perfectly wise. Perhaps, when the war is over, the surviving politicians may find it prudent to combine on some such programme.

But if conformity has its dangers, so has nonconformity.

Some "advanced thinkers" are of the opinion that any one who differs from the conventional opinion must be in the right. This is a delusion; if it were not, truth would be easier to come by than it is. There are infinite possibilities of error, and more cranks take up unfashionable errors than unfashionable truths. I met once an electrical engineer whose first words to me were: "How do you do? There are two methods of faith-healing, the one practised by Christ and the one practised by most Christian Scientists. I practice the method practiced by Christ." Shortly afterwards, he was sent to prison for making out fraudulent balance-sheets. The law does not look kindly on the intrusion of faith into this region. I knew also an eminent lunacy doctor who took to philosophy, and taught a new logic which, as he frankly confessed, he had learnt from his lunatics. When he died he left a will founding a professorship for the teaching of his new scientific methods, but unfortunately he left no assets. Arithmetic proved recalcitrant to lunatic logic. On one occasion a man came to ask me to recommend some of my books, as he was interested in philosophy. I did so, but he returned next day saying that he had been reading one of them, and had found only one statement he could understand, and that one seemed to him false. I asked him what it was, and he said it was the statement that Julius Caesar is dead. When I asked him why he did not agree, he drew himself up and said: "Because I am Julius Caesar." These examples may suffice to show that you cannot make sure of being right by being eccentric.

Science, which has always had to fight its way against popular beliefs, now has one of its most difficult battles in the sphere of psychology.

People who think they know all about human nature are always hopelessly at sea when they have to do with any abnormality. Some boys never learn to be what, in animals, is called "house trained." The sort of person who won't stand any nonsense deals with such cases by punishment; the boy is beaten, and when he repeats the offense he is beaten worse. All medical men who have studied the matter know that punishment only aggravates the trouble. Sometimes the cause is physical, but usually it is psychological, and only curable by removing some deep-seated and probably unconscious grievance. But most people enjoy punishing anyone who irritates them, and so the medical view is rejected as fancy nonsense. The same sort of thing applies to men who are exhibitionists; they are sent to prison over and over again, but as soon as they come out they repeat the offense. A medical man who specialized in such ailments assured me that the exhibitionist can be cured by the simple device of having trousers that button up the back instead of the front. But this method is not tried because it does not satisfy people's vindictive impulses.

Broadly speaking, punishment is likely to prevent crimes that are sane in origin, but not those that spring from some psychological abnormality. This is now partially recognized; we distinguish between plain theft, which springs from what may be called rational self-interest, and kleptomania, which is a mark of something queer. And homicidal maniacs are not treated like ordinary murderers. But sexual aberrations rouse so much disgust that it is still impossible to have them treated medically rather than punitively. Indignation, though on the whole a useful social force, becomes harmful when it is directed against the victims of maladies that only medical skill can cure.

The same sort of thing happens as regards whole nations. During the last war, very naturally, people's vindictive feelings were aroused against the Germans, who were severely punished after their defeat. Now many people are arguing that the Versailles Treaty was ridiculously mild, since it failed to teach a lesson; this time, we are told, there must be real severity. To my mind, we shall be more likely to prevent a repetition of German aggression if we regard the rank and file of the Nazis as we regard lunatics than if we think of them as merely and simply criminals. Lunatics, of course, have to be restrained; we do not allow them to carry firearms. Similarly the German nation will have to be disarmed. But lunatics are restrained from prudence, not as a punishment, and so far as prudence permits we try to make them happy. Everybody recognizes that a homicidal maniac will only become more homicidal if he is made miserable. In Germany at the present day, there are, of course, many men among the Nazis who are plain criminals, but there must also be many who are more or less mad. Leaving the leaders out of account (I do not urge leniency toward them), the bulk of the German nation is much more likely to learn cooperation with the rest of the world if it is subjected to a kind but firm curative treatment than if it is regarded as an outcast among the nations. Those who are being punished seldom learn to feel kindly toward the men who punish them. And so long as the Germans hate the rest of mankind peace will be precarious.

When one reads of the beliefs of savages, or of the ancient Babylonians and Egyptians, they seem surprising by their capricious absurdity. But beliefs that are just as absurd are still entertained by the uneducated even in the most modem and civilized societies. I have been gravely assured, in America, that people born in March are unlucky and people born in May are peculiarly liable to corns. I do not know the history of these superstitions, but probably they are derived from Babylonian or Egyptian priestly love. Beliefs begin in the higher social strata, and then, like mud in a river, sink gradually downward in the educational scale; they may take 3,000 or 4,000 years to sink all the way. You may find your colored help making some remark that comes straight out of Plato—not the parts of Plato that scholars quote, but the parts where he utters obvious nonsense, such as that men who do not pursue wisdom in this life will be born again as women. Commentators on great philosophers always politely ignore their silly remarks.

Aristotle, in spite of his reputation, is full of absurdities. He says that children should be conceived in the Winter, when the wind is in the North, and that if people marry too young the children will be female. He tells us that the blood of females is blacker then that of males; that the pig is the only animal liable to measles; that an elephant suffering from insomnia should have its shoulders rubbed with salt, olive-oil, and warm water; that women have fewer teeth than men, and so on. Nevertheless, he is considered by the great majority of philosophers a paragon of wisdom.

Superstitions about lucky and unlucky days are almost universal. In ancient times they governed the actions of generals. Among ourselves the prejudice against Friday and the number thirteen is very active; sailors do not like to sail on Friday, and many hotels have no thirteenth floor. The superstitions about Friday and thirteen were once believed by those reputed wise; now such men regard them as harmless follies. But probably 2,000 years hence many beliefs of the wise of our day will have come to seem equally foolish. Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.

Belief in "nature" and what is "natural" is a source of many errors. It used to be, and to some extent still is, powerfully operative in medicine. The human body, left to itself, has a certain power of curing itself, small cuts usually heal, colds pass off, and even serious diseases sometimes disappear without medical treatment. But aids to nature are very desirable, even in these cases. Cuts may turn septic if not disinfected, colds may turn to pneumonia, and serious diseases are only left without treatment by explorers and travellers in remote regions, who have no option. Many practices which have come to seem "natural" were originally "unnatural," for instance clothing and washing. Before men adopted clothing they must have found it impossible to live in cold climates. Where there is not a modicum of cleanliness, populations suffer from various diseases, such as typhus, from which Western nations have become exempt. Vaccination was (and by some still is) objected to as "unnatural." But there is no consistency in such objections, for no one supposes that a broken bone can be mended by "natural" behavior. Eating cooked food is "unnatural"; so is heating our houses. The Chinese philosopher Lao-tse, whose traditional date is about 600 B.C., objected to roads and bridges and boats as "unnatural," and in his disgust at such mechanistic devices left China and went to live among the Western barbarians. Every advance in civilization has been denounced as unnatural while it was recent.

The commonest objection to birth control is that it is against "nature." (For some reason we are not allowed to say that celibacy is against nature; the only reason I can think of is that it is not new.) Malthus saw only three ways of keeping down the population; moral restraint, vice, and misery. Moral restraint, he admitted, was not likely to be practised on a large scale. "Vice," i.e., birth control, he, as a clergyman, viewed with abhorrence. There remained misery. In his comfortable parsonage, he contemplated the misery of the great majority of mankind with equanimity, and pointed out the fallacies of reformers who hoped to alleviate it. Modern theological opponents of birth control are less honest. They pretend to think that God will provide however many mouths there may be to feed. They ignore the fact that He has never done so hitherto, but has left mankind exposed to periodical famines in which millions died of hunger. They must be deemed to hold—if they are saying what they believe—that from this moment onward God will work a continual miracle of loaves and fishes which He has hitherto thought unnecessary. Or perhaps they will say that suffering here below is of no importance; what matters is the hereafter. By their own theology, most of the children whom their opposition to birth control will cause to exist will go to hell. We must suppose, therefore, that they oppose the amelioration of life on earth because they think it a good thing that many millions should suffer eternal torment. By comparison with them, Malthus appears merciful.

Women, as the object of our strongest love and aversion, rouse complex emotions which are embodied in proverbial "wisdom."

Almost everybody allows himself or herself some entirely unjustifiable generalization on the subject of woman. Married men, when they generalize on that subject, judge by their wives; women judge by themselves. It would be amusing to write a history of men's views on women. In antiquity, when male supremacy was unquestioned and Christian ethics were still unknown, women were harmless but rather silly, and a man who took them seriously was somewhat despised. Plato thinks it a grave objection to the drama that the playwright has to imitate women in creating his female roles. With the coming of Christianity woman took on a new part, that of the temptress; but at the same time she was also found capable of being a saint. In Victorian days the saint was much more emphasized than the temptress; Victorian men could not admit themselves susceptible to temptation. The superior virtue of women was made a reason for keeping them out of politics, where, it was held, a lofty virtue is impossible. But the early feminists turned the argument round, and contended that the participation of women would ennoble politics. Since this has turned out to be an illusion, there has been less talk of women's superior virtue, but there are still a number of men who adhere to the monkish view of woman as the temptress. Women themselves, for the most part, think of themselves as the sensible sex, whose business it is to undo the harm that comes of men's impetuous follies. For my part I distrust all generalizations about women, favorable and unfavorable, masculine and feminine, ancient and modern; all alike, I should say, result from paucity of experience.

The deeply irrational attitude of each sex toward women may be seen in novels, particularly in bad novels. In bad novels by men, there is the woman with whom the author is in love, who usually possesses every charm, but is somewhat helpless, and requires male protection; sometimes, however, like Shakespeare's Cleopatra, she is an object of exasperated hatred, and is thought to be deeply and desperately wicked. In portraying the heroine, the male author does not write from observation, but merely objectives his own emotions. In regard to his other female characters, he is more objective, and may even depend upon his notebook; but when he is in love, his passion makes a mist between him and the object of his devotion. Women novelists, also, have two kinds of women in their books. One is themselves, glamorous and kind, and object of lust to the wicked and of love to the good, sensitive, high-souled, and constantly misjudged. The other kind is represented by all other women, and is usually portrayed as petty, spiteful, cruel, and deceitful. It would seem that to judge women without bias is not easy either for men or for women.

Generalizations about national characteristics are just as common and just as unwarranted as generalizations about women. Until 1870, the Germans were thought of as a nation of spectacled professors, evolving everything out of their inner consciousness, and scarcely aware of the outer world, but since 1870 this conception has had to be very sharply revised. Frenchmen seem to be thought of by most Americans as perpetually engaged in amorous intrigue; Walt Whitman, in one of his catalogues, speaks of "the adulterous French couple on the sly settee." Americans who go to live in France are astonished, and perhaps disappointed, by the intensity of family life. Before the Russian Revolution, the Russians were credited with a mystical Slav soul, which, while it incapacitated them for ordinary sensible behavior, gave them a kind of deep wisdom to which more practical nations could not hope to attain. Suddenly everything was changed: mysticism was taboo, and only the most earthly ideals were tolerated. The truth is that what appears to one nation as the national character of another depends upon a few prominent individuals, or upon the class that happens to have power. For this reason, all generalizations on this subject are liable to be completely upset by any important political change.

To avoid the various foolish opinions to which mankind are prone, no superhuman genius is required. A few simple rules will keep you, not from all error, but from silly error.

If the matter is one that can be settled by observation, make the observation yourself. Aristotle could have avoided the mistake of thinking that women have fewer teeth than men, by the simple device of asking Mrs. Aristotle to keep her mouth open while he counted. He did not do so because he thought he knew. Thinking that you know when in fact you don't is a fatal mistake, to which we are all prone. I believe myself that hedgehogs eat black beetles, because I have been told that they do; but if I were writing a book on the habits of hedgehogs, I should not commit myself until I had seen one enjoying this unappetizing diet. Aristotle, however, was less cautious. Ancient and medieval authors knew all about unicorns and salamanders; not one of them thought it necessary to avoid dogmatic statements about them because he had never seen one of them.

Many matters, however, are less easily brought to the test of experience. If, like most of mankind, you have passionate convictions on many such matters, there are ways in which you can make yourself aware of your own bias. If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry, that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware of having no good reason for thinking as you do. If some one maintains that two and two are five, or that Iceland is on the equator, you feel pity rather than anger, unless you know so little of arithmetic or geography that his opinion shakes your own contrary conviction. The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology, not in arithmetic, because in arithmetic there is knowledge, but in theology there is only opinion. So whenever you find yourself getting angry about a difference of opinion, be on your guard; you will probably find, on examination, that your belief is going beyond what the evidence warrants.

A good way of ridding yourself of certain kinds of dogmatism is to become aware of opinions held in social circles different from your own. When I was young, I lived much outside my own country in France, Germany, Italy, and the United States. I found this very profitable in diminishing the intensity of insular prejudice. If you cannot travel, seek out people with whom you disagree, and read a newspaper belonging to a party that is not yours. If the people and the newspaper seem mad, perverse, and wicked, remind yourself that you seem so to them. In this opinion both parties may be right, but they cannot both be wrong. This reflection should generate a certain caution.

Becoming aware of foreign customs, however, does not always have a beneficial effect. In the seventeenth century, when the Manchus conquered China, it was the custom among the Chinese for the women to have small feet, and among the Manchus for the men to wear-pigtails. Instead of each dropping their own foolish custom, they each adopted the foolish custom of the other, and the Chinese continued to wear pigtails until they shook off the dominion of the Manchus in the revolution of 1911.

For those who have enough psychological imagination, it is a good plan to imagine an argument with a person having a different bias. This has one advantage, and only one, as compared with actual conversation with opponents; this one advantage is that the method is not subject to the same limitations of time or space. Mahatma Gandhi deplores railways and steamboats and machinery; he would like to undo the whole of the industrial revolution. You may never have an opportunity of actually meeting any one who holds this opinion, because in Western countries most people take the advantage of modern technique for granted. But if you want to make sure that you are right in agreeing with the prevailing opinion, you will find it a good plan to test the arguments that occur to you by considering what Gandhi might say in refutation of them. I have sometimes been led actually to change my mind as a result of this kind of imaginary dialogue, and, short of this, I have frequently found myself growing less dogmatic and cocksure through realizing the possible reasonableness of a hypothetical opponent.

Be very wary of opinions that flatter your self-esteem. Both men and women, nine times out of ten, are firmly convinced of the superior excellence of their own sex. There is abundant evidence on both sides. If you are a man, you can point out that most poets and men of science are male; if you are a woman, you can retort that so are most criminals. The question is inherently insoluble, but self esteem conceals this from most people. We are all, whatever part of the world we come from, persuaded that our own nation is superior to all others. Seeing that each nation has its characteristic merits and demerits, we adjust our standard of values so as to make out that the merits possessed by our nation are the really important ones, while its demerits are comparatively trivial. Here, again, the rational man will admit that the question is one to which there is no demonstrably right answer. It is more difficult to deal with the self esteem of man as man, because we cannot argue out the matter with some non-human mind. The only way I know of dealing with this general human conceit is to remind ourselves that man is a brief episode in the life of a small planet in a little corner of the universe, and that, for aught we know, other parts of the cosmos may contain beings as superior to ourselves as we are to jellyfish.

Other passions besides self-esteem are common sources of error; of these perhaps the most important is fear. Fear sometimes operates directly, by inventing rumors of disaster in war-time, or by imagining objects of terror, such as ghosts; sometimes it operates indirectly, by creating belief in something comforting, such as the elixir of life, or heaven for ourselves and hell for our enemies. Fear has many forms—fear of death, fear of the dark, fear of the unknown, fear of the herd, and that vague generalized fear that comes to those who conceal from themselves their more specific terrors. Until you have admitted your own fears to yourself, and have guarded yourself by a difficult effort of will against their myth-making power, you cannot hope to think truly about many matters of great importance, especially those with which religious beliefs are concerned. Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom, in the pursuit of truth as in the endeavor after a worthy manner of life.

There are two ways of avoiding fear: one is by persuading ourselves that we are immune from disaster, and the other is by the practice of sheer courage. The latter is difficult, and to everybody becomes impossible at a certain point. The former has therefore always been more popular. Primitive magic has the purpose of securing safety, either by injuring enemies, or by protecting oneself by talismans, spells, or incantations. Without any essential change, belief in such ways of avoiding danger survived throughout the many centuries of Babylonian civilization, spread from Babylon throughout the empire of Alexander, and was acquired by the Romans in the course of their absorption of Hellenistic culture. From the Romans it descended to medieval Christendom and Islam. Science has now lessened the belief in magic, but many people place more faith in mascots than they are willing to avow, and sorcery, while condemned by the Church, is still officially a possible sin.

Magic, however, was a crude way of avoiding terrors, and, moreover, not a very effective way, for wicked magicians might always prove stronger than good ones. In the fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth centuries, dread of witches and sorcerers led to the burning of hundreds of thousands convicted of these crimes. But newer beliefs, particularly as to the future life, sought more effective ways of combating fear. Socrates on the day of his death (if Plato is to be believed) expressed the conviction that in the next world he would live in the company of the gods and heroes, and surrounded by just spirits who would never object to his endless argumentation. Plato, in his "Republic," laid it down that cheerful views of the next world must be enforced by the State, not because they were true, but to make soldiers more willing to die in battle. He would have none of the traditional myths about Hades, because they represented the spirits of the dead as unhappy.

Orthodox Christianity, in the Ages of Faith, laid down very definite rules for salvation. First, you must be baptized; then, you must avoid all theological error; last, you must, before dying, repent of your sins and receive absolution. All this would not save you from purgatory, but it would insure your ultimate arrival in heaven. It was not necessary to know theology. An eminent cardinal stated authoritatively that the requirements of orthodoxy would be satisfied if you murmured on your death-bed: "I believe all that the Church believes; the Church believes all that I believe." These very definite directions ought to have made Catholics sure of finding the way to heaven. Nevertheless, the dread of hell persisted, and has caused, in recent times, a great softening of the dogmas as to who will be damned. The doctrine, professed by many modern Christians, that everybody will go to heaven, ought to do away with the fear of death, but in fact this fear is too instinctive to be easily vanquished. F. W. H. Myers, whom spiritualism had converted to belief in a future life, questioned a woman who had lately lost her daughter as to what she supposed had become of her soul. The mother replied: "Oh, well, I suppose she is enjoying eternal bliss, but I wish you wouldn't talk about such unpleasant subjects." In spite of all that theology can do, heaven remains, to most people, an "unpleasant subject."

The most refined religions, such as those of Marcus Aurelius and Spinoza, are still concerned with the conquest of fear. The Stoic doctrine was simple: it maintained that the only true good is virtue, of which no enemy can deprive me; consequently, there is no need to fear enemies. The difficulty was that no one could really believe virtue to be the only good, not even Marcus Aurelius, who, as emperor, sought not only to make his subjects virtuous, but to protect them against barbarians, pestilences, and famines. Spinoza taught a somewhat similar doctrine. According to him, our true good consists in indifference to our mundane fortunes. Both these men sought to escape from fear by pretending that such things as physical suffering are not really evil. This is a noble way of escaping from fear, but is still based upon false belief. And if genuinely accepted, it would have the bad effect of making men indifferent, not only to their own sufferings, but also to those of others.

Under the influence of great fear, almost everybody becomes superstitious. The sailors who threw Jonah overboard imagined his presence to be the cause of the storm which threatened to wreck their ship. In a similar spirit the Japanese, at the time of the Tokyo earthquake took to massacring Koreans and Liberals. When the Romans won victories in the Punic wars, the Carthaginians became persuaded that their misfortunes were due to a certain laxity which had crept into the worship of Moloch. Moloch liked having children sacrificed to him, and preferred them aristocratic; but the noble families of Carthage had adopted the practice of surreptitiously substituting plebeian children for their own offspring. This, it was thought, had displeased the god, and at the worst moments even the most aristocratic children were duly consumed in the fire. Strange to say, the Romans were victorious in spite of this democratic reform on the part of their enemies.

Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd. So it was in the French Revolution, when dread of foreign armies produced the reign of terror. And it is to be feared that the Nazis, as defeat draws nearer, will increase the intensity of their campaign for exterminating Jews. Fear generates impulses of cruelty, and therefore promotes such superstitious beliefs as seem to justify cruelty. Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear. And for this reason poltroons are more prone to cruelty than brave men, and are also more prone to superstition. When I say this, I am thinking of men who are brave in all respects, not only in facing death. Many a man will have the courage to die gallantly, but will not have the courage to say, or even to think, that the cause for which he is asked to die is an unworthy one. Obloquy is, to most men, more painful than death; that is one reason why, in times of collective excitement, so few men venture to dissent from the prevailing opinion. No Carthaginian denied Moloch, because to do so would have required more courage than was required—to face death in battle.

But we have been getting too solemn. Superstitions are not always dark and cruel; often they add to the gaiety of life. I received once a communication from the god Osiris, giving me his telephone number; he lived, at that time, in a suburb of Boston. Although I did not enroll myself among his worshipers, his letter gave me pleasure. I have frequently received letters from men announcing themselves as the Messiah, and urging me not to omit to mention this important fact in my lectures. During prohibition, there was a sect which maintained that the communion service ought to be celebrated in whiskey, not in wine; this tenet gave them a legal right to a supply of hard liquor, and the sect grew rapidly. There is in England a sect which maintains that the English are the lost ten tribes; there is a stricter sect, which maintains that they are only the tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh. Whenever I encounter a member of either of these sects, I profess myself an adherent of the other, and much pleasant argumentation results. I like also the men who study the Great Pyramid, with a view to deciphering its mystical lore. Many great books have been written on this subject, some of which have been presented to me by their authors. It is a singular fact that the Great Pyramid always predicts the history of the world accurately up to the date of publication of the book in question, but after that date it becomes less reliable. Generally the author expects, very soon, wars in Egypt, followed by Armageddon and the coming of Antichrist, but by this time so many people have been recognized as Antichrist that the reader is reluctantly driven to skepticism.

I admire especially a certain prophetess who lived beside a lake in Northern New York State about the year 1820. She announced to her numerous followers that she possessed the power of walking on water, and that she proposed to do so at 11 o'clock on a certain morning. At the stated time, the faithful assembled in their thousands beside the lake. She spoke to them, saying: "Are you all entirely persuaded that I can walk on water?" With one voice they replied: "We are." "In that case," she announced, "there is not need for me to do so." And they all went home much edified.

Perhaps the world would lose some of its interest and variety if such beliefs were wholly replaced by cold science. Perhaps we may allow ourselves to be glad of the Abecedarians, who were so-called because, having rejected all profane learning, they thought it wicked to learn the ABC. And we may enjoy the perplexity of the South American Jesuit who wondered how the sloth could have traveled, since the Flood, all the way from Mount Ararat to Peru—a journey which its extreme tardiness of locomotion rendered almost incredible. A wise man will enjoy the goods of which there is a plentiful supply, and of intellectual rubbish he will find an abundant diet, in our own age as in every other.

12.3.09

The First Wise Man Ever or Thou Shalt Not Eat Beans

Pythagoras... was intellectually one of the most important men that ever lived, both when he was wise and when he was unwise. Mathematics, in the sense of demonstrative deductive argument, begins with him, and in him is intimately connected with a peculiar form of mysticism. The influence of mathematics on philosophy, partly owing to him, has, ever since his time, been both profound and unfortunate.

...He was a native of the island of Samos, and flourished about 532 B.C. Some say he was the son of a substantial citizen named Mnesarchos, others that he was the son of the god Apollo; I leave the reader to take his choice between these alternatives. In his time Samos was ruled by the tyrant Polycrates, an old ruffian who became immensely rich, and had a vast navy....

The Greek cities of southern Italy, like Samos and Miletus, were rich and prosperous; moreover they were not exposed to danger from the Persians. The two greatest were Sybaris and Croton. Sybaris has remained proverbial for luxury; its population, in its greatest days, is said by Diodorus to have amounted to 300,000, though this is no doubt an exaggeration. Croton was about equal in size to Sybaris. Both cities lived by importing Ionian wares into Italy, partly for consumption in that country, partly for re-export from the western coast to Gaul and Spain. The various Greek cities of Italy fought each other fiercely; when Pythagoras arrived in Croton, it had just been defeated by Locri. Soon after his arrival, however, Croton was completely victorious in a war against Sybaris, which was utterly destroyed ( 510 B.C.). Sybaris had been closely linked in commerce with Miletus. Croton was famous for medicine; a certain Democedes of Croton became physician to Polycrates and then to Darius.

At Croton Pythagoras founded a society of disciples, which for a time was influential in that city. But in the end the citizens turned against him, and he moved to Metapontion (also in southern Italy), where he died. He soon became a mythical figure, credited with miracles and magic powers, but he was also the founder of a school of mathematicians. Thus two opposing traditions disputed his memory, and the truth is hard to disentangle. Pythagoras is one of the most interesting and puzzling men in history. Not only are the traditions concerning him an almost inextricable mixture of truth and falsehood, but even in their barest and least disputable form they present us with a very curious psychology. He may be described, briefly, as a combination of Einstein and Mrs. [Mary Baker] Eddy. He founded a religion, of which the main tenets were the transmigration of souls and the sinfulness of eating beans. His religion was embodied in a religious order, which, here and there, acquired control of the State and established a rule of the saints. But the unregenerate hankered after beans, and sooner or later rebelled. Some of the rules of the Pythagorean order were:

1. To abstain from beans.

2. Not to pick up what has fallen.

3. Not to touch a white cock.

4. Not to break bread.

5. Not to step over a crossbar.

6. Not to stir the fire with iron.

7. Not to eat from a whole loaf.

8. Not to pluck a garland.

9. Not to sit on a quart measure.

10. Not to eat the heart.

11. Not to walk on highways.

12. Not to let swallows share one's roof.

13. When the pot is taken off the fire, not to leave the mark of it in the ashes, but to stir them together.

14. Do not look in a mirror beside a light.

15. When you rise from the bedclothes, roll them together and smooth out the impress of the body.

All these precepts belong to primitive tabu-conceptions. Cornford (From Religion to Philosophy) says that, in his opinion, "The School of Pythagoras represents the main current of that mystical tradition which we have set in contrast with the scientific tendency." He regards Parmenides, whom he calls "the discoverer of logic," as "an offshoot of Pythagoreanism, and Plato himself as finding in the Italian philosophy the chief source of his inspiration." Pythagoreanism, he says, was a movement of reform in Orphism, and Orphism was a movement of reform in the worship of Dionysus. The opposition of the rational and the mystical, which runs all through history, first appears, among the Greeks, as an opposition between the Olympic gods and those other less civilized gods who had more affinity with the primitive beliefs dealt with by anthropologists. In this division, Pythagoras was on the side of mysticism, though his mysticism was of a peculiarly intellectual sort. He attributed to himself a semi-divine character, and appears to have said: "There are men and gods, and beings like Pythagoras." All the systems that he inspired, Cornford says, "tend to be otherworldly, putting all value in the unseen unity of God, and condemning the visible world as false and illusive, a turbid medium in which the rays of heavenly light are broken and obscured in mist and darkness."


The History of Western Philosophy, Bertrand Russell, Chapter 3

11.3.09

The First Person and the First People Who Tried to Make Sense of the World

In all history, nothing is so surprising or so difficult to account for as the sudden rise of civilization in Greece. Much of what makes civilization had already existed for thousands of years in Egypt and in Mesopotamia, and had spread thence to neighbouring countries. But certain elements had been lacking until the Greeks supplied them. What they achieved in art and literature is familiar to everybody, but what they did in the purely intellectual realm is even more exceptional. They invented mathematics and science and philosophy; they first wrote history as opposed to mere annals; they speculated freely about the nature of the world and the ends of life, without being bound in the fetters of any inherited orthodoxy. What occurred was so astonishing that, until very recent times, men were content to gape and talk mystically about the Greek genius. It is possible, however, to understand the development of Greece in scientific terms, and it is well worth while to do so.

Philosophy begins with Thales, who, fortunately, can be dated by the fact that he predicted an eclipse which, according to the astronomers, occurred in the year 585 B.C. Philosophy and science—which were not originally separate—were therefore born together at the beginning of the sixth century.

...In every history of philosophy for students, the first thing mentioned is that philosophy began with Thales, who said that everything is made of water. This is discouraging to the beginner, who is struggling—perhaps not very hard—to feel that respect for philosophy which the curriculum seems to expect. There is, however, ample reason to feel respect for Thales, though perhaps rather as a man of science than as a philosopher in the modern sense of the word.

Thales was a native of Miletus, in Asia Minor, a flourishing commercial city, in which there was a large slave population, and a bitter class struggle between the rich and poor among the free population. "At Miletus the people were at first victorious and murdered the wives and children of the aristocrats; then the aristocrats prevailed and burned their opponents alive, lighting up the open spaces of the city with live torches." Similar conditions prevailed in most of the Greek cities of Asia Minor at the time of Thales.

Miletus, like other commercial cities of Ionia, underwent important economic and political developments during the seventh and sixth centuries. At first, political power belonged to a land-owning aristocracy, but this was gradually replaced by a plutocracy of merchants. They, in turn, were replaced by a tyrant, who (as was usual) achieved power by the support of the democratic party. The kingdom of Lydia lay to the east of the Greek coast towns, but remained on friendly terms with them until the fall of Nineveh ( 612 B.C.). This left Lydia free to turn its attention to the West, but Miletus usually succeeded in preserving friendly relations, especially with Croesus, the last Lydian king, who was conquered by Cyrus in 546 B.C. There were also important relations with Egypt, where the king depended upon Greek mercenaries, and had opened certain cities to Greek trade. The first Greek settlement in Egypt was a fort occupied by a Milesian garrison; but the most important, during the period 610-560 B.C., was Daphnae. Here Jeremiah and many other Jewish refugees took refuge from Nebuchadrezzar (Jeremiah 43:5 ff); but while Egypt undoubtedly influenced the Greeks, the Jews did not, nor can we suppose that Jeremiah felt anything but horror towards the sceptical Ionians.

As regards the date of Thales, the best evidence, as we saw, is that he was famous for predicting an eclipse which, according to the astronomers, must have taken place in 585 B.C. Other evidence, such as it is, agrees in placing his activities at about this time. It is no proof of extraordinary genius on his part to have predicted an eclipse. Miletus was allied with Lydia, and Lydia had cultural relations with Babylonia, and Babylonian astronomers had discovered that eclipses recur in a cycle of about nineteen years. They could predict eclipses of the moon with pretty complete success, but as regards solar eclipses they were hampered by the fact that an eclipse may be visible in one place and not in another. Consequently they could only know that at such and such a date it was worth while to look out for an eclipse, and this is probably all that Thales knew. Neither he nor they knew why there is this cycle.

Thales is said to have travelled in Egypt, and to have thence brought to the Greeks the science of geometry. What the Egyptians knew of geometry was mainly rules of thumb, and there is no reason to believe that Thales arrived at deductive proofs, such as later Greeks discovered. He seems to have discovered how to calculate the distance of a ship at sea from observations taken at two points on land, and how to estimate the height of a pyramid from the length of its shadow.

Many other geometrical theorems are attributed to him, but probably wrongly. He was one of the Seven Wise Men of Greece, each of whom was specially noted for one wise saying; his, according to tradition, was "water is best."

According to Aristotle, he thought that water is the original substance, out of which all others are formed; and he maintained that the earth rests on water. Aristotle also says of him that he said the magnet has a soul in it, because it moves the iron; further, that all things are full of gods.

The statement that everything is made of water is to be regarded as a scientific hypothesis, and by no means a foolish one. Twenty years ago, the received view was that everything is made of hydrogen, which is two thirds of water. The Greeks were rash in their hypotheses, but the Milesian school, at least, was prepared to test them empirically. Too little is known of Thales to make it possible to reconstruct him at all satisfactorily, but of his successors in Miletus much more is known, and it is reasonable to suppose that something of their outlook came from him. His science and his philosophy were both crude, but they were such as to stimulate both thought and observation.

There are many legends about him, but I do not think more is known than the few facts I have mentioned. Some of the stories are pleasant, for instance, the one told by Aristotle in his Politics: "He was reproached for his poverty, which was supposed to show that philosophy is of no use. According to the story, he knew by his skill in the stars while it was yet winter that there would be a great harvest of olives in the coming year; so, having a little money, he gave deposits for the use of all the olive-presses in Chios and Miletus, which he hired at a low price because no one bid against him. When the harvest time came, and many were wanted all at once and of a sudden, he let them out at any rate which he pleased, and made a quantity of money. Thus he showed the world that philosophers can easily be rich if they like, but that their ambition is of another sort."


The History of Western Philosophy, Bertrand Russell, chapter 2